Book 16: Chapter 42
“Do I save the child… or should I not…?” I asked myself.
Instinctually motivated, I pushed the crowd aside. The familiar scene appeared before me again. It was the same problem and victim. The girl in the freezing water was struggling and crying for help. She didn’t have time to wait for me to think. I needed to jump down to rescue her. As a student who graduated from a family school, I should’ve jumped straight down to save her; however, I hesitated.
If I died there, I might’ve gone through life in that world again. In other words, I might live as Troy then die at Mom and Lucia’s hand a second time. Mommy Vyvyan didn’t need me. She only needed her son. If it wasn’t for me, Troy might’ve survived. As a matter of fact, maybe anyone could’ve fit the role… I wasn’t necessary. Anyone would do as long as there was Troy. None of them cared. I was just an unnecessary existence in their world, a soul that possessed a body, a mere shadow. I had no purpose in that world.
This was the world I belonged to. This was where my life had meaning, with people who truly loved me. I had a life that belonged to me. My footsteps in life had been imprinted there as well as my memories. I… really should live here, I thought.
“Save my daughter! Please! Save my child!! Please, somebody… please!” The woman cried as she frantically pulled on people around.
Saving somebody was supposed to be a good thing, yet everybody cowered away as if they were avoiding the plague. I could understand their decision. The prerequisite for saving someone was ensuring that you survived the rescue attempt. Therein was the problem. They weren’t certain they’d survive. Surely you’d die if you jumped down. The ordinary people were afraid of the current. Only someone who could abandon everything would jump down.
Originally, I jumped down without a moment of hesitation. I remembered my reason for living on. I wanted to live. I didn’t want to die. I cherished my current life, land and family. I… really… didn’t have the guts… to jump…
“Please! I beg you!! Please save my child… Please… I’ll give you anything, just please!!” The woman stumbled over to me.
Last time, I jumped down before she could even grab me, yet this time, I stepped back. I hid behind someone else. This time, I cowered…