Book 14: Chapter 39
Although I wasn’t able to make any guarantees, I wouldn’t be able to leave Mommy Elizabeth if I said I wouldn’t make it. Therefore, I had no choice but to promise her that I’d definitely be back. Elizabeth didn’t keep me by force. Instead, she sent me off. Her gaze – along with my wives gazes – pricked my heart. Their eyes were filled with the pain of reluctance to part. I couldn’t stay with them, though, and I couldn’t bring them with me. Mommy Elizabeth had to stay in the Imperial Palace to look after my family. As for Mommy Vyvyan, I didn’t know how she was doing.
“Brother… You must come back. You must come back… Please…” pleaded Freya.
I gave Freya a kiss on her forehead, and then let go of her. I didn’t have much time left, so I had to leave at night. Nier and Lucia stood to one side. Lucia wiped her tears while she was looking at me. Nier was carrying Daisy. Daisy looked at me with a very terrified gaze. I couldn’t bear to leave when I saw her gaze. I had to go, though.
I pushed Freya back. Freya wept in Lucia’s embrace. I smiled at the sight of them. I held Daisy’s hands one last time. Then, I turned my attention to Mommy Elizabeth: “Mom, I’ll definitely be back. I promise. Before I return, I hope you can take good care of the North.”
Mommy Elizabeth nodded sincerely then gave my head a rub: “Mommy really wants to hug you, but if Mommy hugs you now, Mommy won’t bear to part with you. It’s all right, Son. Mommy will supervise things here in your absence. Mommy will wait for you to return, promise. You promised Mommy that you’d return, so keep your word. Don’t lie to Mommy.”
“I know. I know.”
I lowered my head and allowed Mom to caress my head. She pulled her hand back, but then I reached out and pulled her into my embrace, ignoring what she just said. Though initially stunned, she revealed a hopeless smile as she returned my gesture with a gentle hug.
Nier and Lucia didn’t comment. There’s nothing wrong with a mother and son hugging, after all. I released Mom then spun around to leave the palace. I couldn’t turn around nor did I dare to. If I turned around I’d see my wives’ piercing gazes. I’d also be able to see Daisy desperately trying to reach me. Daisy seemed aware I was going to leave. She wailed and reached for me to hold her. Daisy’s cries were akin to stabs at my heart. I really wanted to turn back and hold her, but I couldn’t. Noticing me act strange, Mommy Elizabeth sternly yelled out to me from behind, “Don’t turn around.”
I knew I couldn’t turn around no matter what. I know my determination would crumble within an instant if I do. I couldn’t stay, because I’d die if I did. I walked off firmly despite the pain and regret in my heart. I had to walk off.