Book 13: Chapter 59
What sort of mom was Mommy Elizabeth to me? The first time I saw her, her majestic aura stunned me. I didn’t see a mother in her. Mommy Vyvyan was gentle with me the first time I met her, whereas I didn’t see a mother from Elizabeth’s attitude toward me. Instead, I saw a majestic Empress. She was the Empress of a nation, after all.
Afterwards, I came to understand that Mommy Elizabeth was the same as Mommy Vyvyan. They were both my mothers, and they both deeply loved me. Mommy Vyvyan gave birth to me and so did Mommy Elizabeth. Further, if what happened after my birth didn’t happen, Mommy Elizabeth would be my biological mother. She always felt guilty, because she didn’t take care of me growing up. Mommy Elizabeth didn’t desire an empire but me.
Mommy Elizabeth was a very pitiable woman, wasn’t she? She could never obtain what she wanted. She once had everything she wanted. She had a husband she loved and her son by her side, but she forsook everything for the empire. She didn’t live for herself but for others. She became an Empress for her family and her denizens. She made the decision to become a majestic and murderous Empress, in spite of not willing to and in spite of knowing that the decision meant that she would lose a lot of things. She lost her sense of identity, because she wore too many masks that she couldn’t remember how many she wore, all of which she wore for the sake of others.
Elizabeth liked to drink wine. I didn’t know she looked to her side whenever she was drunk. I only ever seen Elizabeth drunk once, which was when I got married. Honestly, she seemed to see herself when she was sixteen. She saw herself living by Inard’s side and my newborn form. Perhaps she saw the moment I was born, as well. I was sure that was an unforgettable moment for her.
I didn’t know what Mommy Elizabeth thought of me. Maybe it was because Mommy Vyvyan was the one who appeared in front of me first. That would explain why my feelings for Mommy Elizabeth weren’t as deep as my feelings for Mommy Vyvyan. Let me rephrase that. My feelings for Mommy Elizabeth as a son weren’t as deep as my feelings for Mommy Vyvyan as a son.
I, very much so, want to understand and know Mommy Elizabeth. When I occasionally peered at her face underneath the moonlight and saw a relieved, yet sorrowful, smile, I had a desire to understand her thoughts. But nonetheless, all I ever saw was a deep seated sense of loneliness and sadness…
“Son, you need to know that it’s not unreasonable to not hesitate to sacrifice your life, but you need to know why you are putting yourself at risk,” was what my mom told me.
I didn’t care how exactly Mommy Elizabeth viewed me. When I saw her drown, all I knew was that Mommy Elizabeth was my mom, my family and the person I loved most. She was my most beloved Mommy Elizabeth; therefore, I had to rescue her. She gave me my life. I wouldn’t be alive if it were not for her. Moreover, I recalled that night. I recalled all of it. I had a reason to sacrifice my life for Elizabeth.
I didn’t hesitate or regret my decision. Mommy Vyvyan had informed me of the consequences, and I was very clear as to what would come next; however I didn’t have a shred of concern, for I knew that I had to protect Mommy Elizabeth. I had to save my most beloved mom!