Book 5: Chapter 32
“Are you rested, Luna?”
Luna sat up in a groggy manner as she rubbed her eyes. She then looked at me with puzzlement for a while before realising what I asked her. She quickly stood up and replied, “Yes, yes. I apologise Your Majesty. I fell asleep…”
“It’s alright.”
I gently stroked Freya’s head that was rested on my thigh and responded, “We can only take a short break. We’ll have to begin the attack very soon. I recruited a group of mercenaries at the inn and paid them with the church’s gold-blocks. Using the church’s gold to destroy the church. How ironic.”
Luna nodded and went silent for a moment. She then said, “Your Majesty, are you going to kill the people inside? I… I am not trying to defend the church. It is just that… just that… I feel that… have you not killed… too much recently…?”
Luna looked at me with a somewhat scared expression and softly continued, “Your Majesty… the prince… the prince that protected me… is gone… When I look at your eyes now… Your Majesty… you… have you killed too many people? … Why has your gaze started to become frightening?”
I looked at my hands. People I’ve killed… I’ve only killed two. One was Mera, and the other was the messenger. I’ve only killed two people… I felt suffering when I killed Mera. I felt despair. But when I killed the messenger, I certainly was feeling enraged and ecstatic.
Mom said that one should be disgusted, feel hopeless and hurt when picking up a blade. If they feel full of joy and excitement when they pick up their blade, then they have completely lost their humanity. Even elves, who have no concept of life and death, hold life in high regard. But I’ve already started to kill out of my personal rage.
And it was an innocent person that I killed. I killed someone completely unrelated to this incident. I killed an innocent person, just because I was angry.