Book 3: Chapter 32
“Son… You… Mera…”
I don’t know how I found my way out of the dungeon, but I knew my body was covered in blood. I was covered in Mera’s blood. I don’t know how long I held Mera’s corpse in my arms and wept. I then got staggered to my feet and exited.
Mom pulled me who was like a zombie over and looked at me. She then pulled me tightly into her embrace. She choked on her tears as she stroked my head. She didn’t care about me being stained with blood. She just hugged me tightly as though she was trying to comfort me, and like she wanted to protect me. She stroked my head and choked as she said: “It’s alright. It’s alright…son… Don’t be scared… Don’t be scared… Mommy will protect you in the future… Mommy won’t let you leave mommy again… This sort of stuff won’t happen again… It won’t… Mommy will definitely protect you. Promise… So… don’t look so despaired… Mommy… Mommy will provide you with a safe and peaceful environment….”
I hugged mom tightly and breathed in her body fragrance to intoxicate myself. Large teardrops fell from my eyes onto mom’s body. My body shook as I hugged mom and wept. I don’t know why I was scared or why I was crying. Maybe it was due to the terror of killing for the first time, perhaps because I was sympathising for Mera….
But I definitely didn’t regret it.
Mom cupped my face, looked into my eyes and anxiously asked: “Son, tell me, are you happy right now? Do you feel the joy of revenge?”
She was looking in my eyesas though she was searching for the world’s most valuable treasure. I lifted my chin up, looked at mom and shook my head. I wiped my tears and said: “No… I’m suffering… It’s a bitter pill to swallow… I’m truly very hurt… But…I don’t regret it.”
Mom looked into my eyes. My eyes were indeed filled with pain and hatred. She tightened her grip on my face and I noticed that her entire body was overcome with despair. She dropped to her knees helplessly. She knelt on the ground as she sobbed and said: “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have let my son trial Mera…. I shouldn’t… Mera succeeded… Mera succeeded in the end… My son… My son…”
Mom suddenly pulled me into her tight embrace and cried aloud. I had no idea what the matter with me was. Why did mom say something like that? I could feel that mom was in despair like me. My belief that kindness could change the world got destroyed, while the naive and kind world mom created for me had crumbled.