Book 3: Chapter 13
After dinner I looked at Lucia who still hadn’t changed into her skirt and asked: “Do you want to go out and play at noon today?”
Lucia took a moment before shaking her head and replying: “No, your highness. I won’t go out today. I need to do some extra training to ensure that I can perform well at the deer hunting festival.”
“But…. But I already have these things….”
I held up the cloth bag in my hand. Lucia looked at it, then forced a smile and said: “Even so, I feel more and more uneasy. Your highness, please allow me to do some training. That way I’ll feel a bit more at ease.”
“Alright.”
I smiled and watched as Lucia walked out. It appears that Lucia was like me. We may not have had a single chance at victory at the start, however, we seem to get tunnel-visioned, and confidently give it our all. We now have something that’ll get a white deer king to come to me, yet we also feel tense like we’re headed to the guillotine.
Mom wasn’t wrong. I did indeed want to participate for the sake of marrying Lucia, therefore my goal was to win the deer hunting festival, not to participate for the experience. Since I have no skills, I require these things to win. Otherwise, not only will I cause Lucia to suffer with me, but I’ll also betray our future. This isn’t a death-game. Nobody will die if I win. It’s just a one-time event. The dreams of others are basically just delayed as long as I don’t participate in the future.
One year is insignificant to an elf.
But why? Why do I still feel uneasy when I don’t mean to cheat? I won’t bring harm to anybody, nor will anybody lose anything as a result of it, but it still bugs me. It makes me feel bad. It feels like I’m wronging someone when in reality, I don’t owe anybody anything.