Book 2: Chapter 11
The empress sat in her armchair, put one leg over the other, rested her face in her right hand and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She thought that she could improve her relationship with her son during their bath, but in the end she ended up scaring him because she was too hasty. It felt like their relationship got worse instead of improving.
However…
She managed to successfully hug her son even though he wasn’t too willing… Things couldn’t continue the way they were. She had to get him to accept her as his mother. He always called the other woman “mom”, but her “your majesty”. She was his biological mother so why wasn’t she able to receive her child’s love?
She could have everything she asked for but she couldn’t get her child to call her “mom”. She could still remember the pain and bliss of giving birth to him. She could still remember his tiny figure after she gave birth to him. She was enveloped in bliss as she watched him take his silent breaths. She could watch her child for all of eternity.
However, up until now she’s spent her days on horseback. She led the army herself to conquer the lands. She’s an empress that fulfilled all her roles and worthy of respect. From the perspective of her soldiers, she’s a brave and peerless commander. From the perspective of her enemies, she’s their nightmare on the battlefield. But nobody but her own tears that flow from her eyes every night and herself know that she’s also a mother.
She felt that she owed him far too much and reasoned that was why it was only normal for him to be so vigilant of her. She gave birth to him but didn’t accompany him. But it’s not like she didn’t want to stay by his side. If she could choose her fate, she’d be willing to abandon the empire and her throne. She wanted to see her child slowly grow up even if that meant she’d become a mere commoner as that was enough for her.
She owns a vast territorial area yet can’t get her own son to call her “mom”.
A maid held the empress’s hair and carefully and meticulously combed it. Her majesty has never once dedicated any effort into looking after her hair, but her long black hair was perfect. The maid carefully combed her majesty’s hair as she was afraid of hurting her. That said, her majesty was no stuck up woman, so she wouldn’t throw a fit over a broken strand of hair.