Chapter 169 - 168: Eagerness
Chapter 168: Eagerness
Over the years, Han Suwen lived in an environment wherein all his actions were seen as something not decent. Every time he performs better, they thought it was an act of rebellion to try to steal Han Baiwei’s position as the legitimate son.
As for his mother, she was nowhere to be found after abandoning him to that house. Han Suwen has always been alone on surviving for himself.
Joining this competition was actually not really his dreams nor an intention. He just wanted to try on forming a life he can control even with so many seatbacks waiting for him. He already expected that Han Baiwei would definitely follow to create a mess for him but he didn’t care. He just wanted to let everyone see that he can stand by himself and can also be seen with a different perspective aside from being an illegitimate son.
Han Suwen can be another person aside from that identity. He can prove it.
But it’s quite difficult being himself without the stage. He was used to ignoring the things around them— tightly covering himself so no matter what others hit him, he won’t bulge. This is what he learned early during his younger days inside that house. He was the person whom they could vent in anger. Even if it’s not physical abuse, the verbal beatings were enough for him to stay indifferent to whatever others say.
Only when he’s on stage can he feel he has the freedom to do what he wants, this is the biggest realization he felt. From the moment he felt free on stage, he began taking it seriously and has always been eager to learn new things.
For now, challenging Shen Lou is not about overestimating himself. He knew his strengths and weaknesses. Only if he can face the stronger opponent can he feel that he has to do better so he will not be looked down upon.
As time passes by, he can feel the sweat forming on his body. This wetness would even inevitably cause his hold to the racket slightly loosen so his attack gradually became lesser. He cannot win against Shen Lou, he knew that.
But it was not enough.
The weakness that he could feel would only drive him to move further. Even though he could feel his body getting numb and his wrist started getting heavier, he still wanted to continue.