Chapter 37: A blood oath
Her eyes then rolled to the bed, and her cheeks flushed as an uninvited heat assaulted her back again. He had allowed her to choose a part of his body, and she had chosen his heart. It was the foremost desire and longing of her heart to have him wholly for herself. She was planning to tame his heart slowly without forcing him, to make him want her with everything, not just lust. Would she succeed? It was worth trying rather than crying later.
She had never loved a man this much before, to imagine him so intimately, to plead with all the gods out there for the chance to receive his love. She sighed, her head falling onto her outstretched arms on the windowsill as the vicious throbbing sensation returned to her core again. It had been constantly happening during training.
A knock on the door saved her from her intoxicated, baited mind.
She steadied herself. That could be her husband, and she must not lose the reins of her self-control as though they were galloping like a frantic horse. She wouldn’t be the one begging him to touch her.
"Milady, have you asked for me?"
Her shoulders slouched, he had not returned yet. She wasn’t sure how accurate Siamon’s words were, but she was worried about him. Until now, she hadn’t known her heart was this weak for a man like him. It wasn’t as though she had never seen or talked to men; she had met many young Nobel men and merchants while buying rare herbs for her physician master. But she had never been this desperate.
How irritating to see herself sitting there, wrapped in silence, her heart a hollow shell as the weight of everything crashed down on her. Forlorn and abandoned, she clutched the fabric of her dress as if holding herself together, but no matter how tightly she held on, she was still unraveling, exposed. She was scared that Elaika might win her husband.
"Milady, is something wrong? You look pale."
Determined as she was, she jumped to her feet. "Take me to the alchemy lab. I want to make a gift for His Highness!"