Between Beast And Buddha: A Drunken Monkey's Journey to Immortality

B3 Chapter 13



The press of humanity flowed around orange-crest like water parting before a stone in a river.

A part of him was tempted to make sudden movements. To dash to and fro, just to see if all these people would make way.

"Boss?" Fu Daxian waved a hand. "We're blocking the road."

Orange-crest pushed down the urge. It was a monkey thought. He followed Hong Bo deeper into the city, a leaf borne ever onward by the current.

Behind his veils, he inhaled deeply. It was a far cry from the air of the mountains, the heights as clean and pure as jade. The city smelled dirty, but in a good way. It was the dirt of healthy and growing places, all the pungent scents of wild and untamed life.

His eyes no longer widened with every new sight. They couldn't. They would have long ago fallen out of his head if he tried.

Huangshi was everything he could have imagined and more. Every wine shop and dojo and street food stall called to him, only to be drowned out by the noise of the next carriage or the scent of dye and leather.

Orange-crest felt his chest relax, a tightness he'd never noticed gripping his frame falling away. He felt like the world was a sticky rice dumpling, his to flatten and prod into shape, sweet and chewy and just daring him to take a bite out of it.

If men could do this, build this, surely orange-crest could do anything at all if he worked hard enough at it?

Cultivators claimed to defy heaven. But what small wonder was their cultivation compared to this work of mortal men? Heaven did not ordain that there was to be a city here. Men had flattened these hills, paved over these plains, and built their own modest mountains atop them.

Orange-crest felt something. A sense of rightness and belonging, that unmistakable charge that signaled the beginning of a moment of enlightenment.

"It's just a city, boss. You'll get used to it."

Fu Daxian killed it. The myriad threads of qi that had begun to reach out for the monkey found more interesting beings to orbit.

"Junior." Orange-crest was not so enlightened that he was not... Irritated. "Go find me a shop."

Fu Daxian swallowed. "What?"

"You want a cut of the pearl? Find me a shop. Big. Cheap. Where the people are. With a nice place to live attached. No shop, no silver."

"I'm sure I can find something, but storefronts in the city aren't cheap, not even outside—"

"Figure it out. And stop bothering me every time I stop walking. Sometimes it is nothing. Sometimes it is cultivator things."

"I told you!" Sun Guiying hissed. "I told you to stop being so familiar with the new boss."

"You don't know—" Fu Daxian cut himself off as orange-crest brushed past him, his mood lowered, but still buoyant. He could feel his destination now, he didn't need a guide.

Hong Bo alone followed him.

"Are you sure you want to do this alone..." Hong Bo paused, struggling to force himself to finish the sentence. "...Daoist Big Hat."

"Yes."

Orange-crest was, for once, sure. A real daoist wouldn't trust this bargain to a mortal. And if they saw through him, it would be better if none of the others were there to get caught up in the chaos that would follow.

They set a time and place to meet, before the seven of them parted. Orange-crest marveled at how easily a human could disappear into a place like this, if they did not hold tight to their companions. The thought was not quite enough to recall what Fu Daxian had scattered.

The monkey exhaled, and stepped into the cultivator's ward. He held himself tightly, back as straight as his staff, drifting gracefully along the ground like an otherworldly spirit, wandering nowhere in particular.

With a keen eye, orange-crest began observing rogue cultivators in their natural habitat.

He first noticed that they all kept their qi out. Not quite flaring it, but pushing enough of themselves into the world to clearly show their cultivation. Orange-crest followed in their lead. At the seventh stage, he drew a few curious glances, but not too much attention. To his relief, the few Foundation Establishment cultivators he passed ignored him, so long as he was careful to drift far enough out of their way as they crossed the nearly empty streets. When one of the Foundation Establishment cultivators walked into a shop, other patrons would even go so far as to suddenly find other stores more compelling.

The second thing the monkey noticed was that few of them walked with friends. Most stalked in and out of shops alone. The few who had companions moved with a clear hierarchy. An older-looking servant, or a cultivator of the opposite sex and lower stature, following half a step behind.

The shops themselves were less varied than the monkey expected. They all seemed to have the same general layout. A wide open space with a large entryway that held far fewer goods than it could have. Blades and mirrors and talismans were arranged upon tables, each set out like a treasure to be admired. Even the alchemy supply stores were nearly empty, with all their goods set into cabinets on the wall. It seemed rather wasteful of the space that Fu Daxian had claimed was so costly to secure.

The shopkeepers however were varied where their stores were not. Some of them moved like servants, heads bowed, shadows to their patrons, endless compliments flowing from their lips. Others did not even rise for their guests, occupying themselves with reading, writing, or in one case by silently pondering a wooden panel dotted with stones in black and white.

Orange-crest skipped any shop whose proprietor was in Foundation Establishment. They wouldn't want it badly enough.

His first attempt was a man in the eighth stage of Qi Condensation who ran the finest apothecary the monkey had ever seen. He even had pills for breaking through to Foundation Establishment in stock, despite not holding the rank himself. Orange-crest's eyes widened at the price. The cheapest, Foundation Forming Pills, were a hundred and fifty spirit stones. The most expensive, called Dustfall Pills, cost eight hundred spirit stones each. Orange-crest couldn't even see them — they were locked in a cabinet sealed by a formation; there was only a little placard informing him of the price.

"Loess Pearl. Well harvested, but smaller than average. No more than eighty years old." The shopkeeper was an older man, with a beard on his chin and the beginnings of one at the edge of each of his eyebrows. "I can give you ten spirit stones."

Orange-crest rose to his feet. This wasn't his man.

"Twelve."

The monkey moved to exit the store.

"You drive a hard bargain, my taciturn friend. Fifteen, that is my best and highest offer."

Orange-crest hesitated at the threshold.

"You won't find a better price on the Street of Stems. I'll even throw in a Meridian Opening Pill valued at four spirit stones, a gift in the hope that we might do more business together in the future."

It was a good offer. A very good offer. But orange-crest didn't see the right sort of avarice in his eyes.

Orange-crest tried three more apothecaries. He played dumb at one. Negotiated firmly at another. Spoke as little as necessary at the third. Twelve, fourteen, and ten spirit stones.

He bought a few sheets of paper, and borrowed the usage of a brush, but did not sell his pearl.

When orange-crest read the Scripture of the Golden Order, many of the characters had passed through his mind without leaving any sort of mark. But there was one passage that had stuck with him beyond others.

"The merchant makes a vocation of needs and their satisfaction. The daoist who would rise upon threads of gold holds eternity in his hands, the ties of karma unfolding with every transaction. The pure immortal might rise with hems unstained, but a man anchored to a thousand worlds can still stand above them. For luxury, a man will spend his last coin. For the chance of another sunrise, bloodstained gold will countenance prices bloodless usury would shy away from in fear."

Stolen from NovelPhoenix, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

It sounded dark. Words of control and dominion. But they were words that descended from the teachings of Grand Elder Tian, however twisted they had been, and his Dao had not been such a cold and bloodless thing.

Orange-crest wanted a man who needed his Loess Pearl more than he did one who could afford it.

It was late in the day when he found him.

He was stronger than orange-crest, near the Great Circle of Qi Condensation. Careworn, but not too old, with wiry muscles and a sword resting beside his desk. His shop was a sad thing. Many of his cabinets were empty. Those that were not emanated precious little qi. He had no Foundation Forming Pills, indeed he had precious few Qi Condensation level pills for sale, and only the most common ones. Just Qi and Blood and Meridian Opening Pills.

The shopkeeper introduced himself as Yuan Hua, formerly of the Demon Subduing Hall.

He smiled, just a little, when orange-crest declared himself Daoist Big Hat, and announced he had stumbled across a spiritual plant he was looking to sell.

Orange-crest placed the Loess Pearl on the table, and watched. He saw the moment of recognition. The hunger in Yuan Hua's eyes. The moment his face fell.

"I'm sorry, fellow daoist. It is an excellent Loess Pearl. But..." Yuan Hua's lips pursed. "The best I can offer you is a dozen spirit stones."

"Cheng Rong's Pavilion of Treasured Stems offered me fifteen, and a top-grade Meridian Opening Pill."

Yuan Hua lowered his eyes, staring at the pearl. "You should take that deal then. It is a good price."

Orange-crest smacked his lips behind his veil.

"You should offer me tea."

"What?"

"It is only polite."

"I cannot do better than twelve stones."

Orange-crest looked around the shop. He compared the names on the cabinets to the list in his head.

"I think we can make a deal."

Yuan Hua did not look hopeful. But he made the tea.

"Why don't you sell Foundation Forming Pills?" Orange-crest asked.

"You are rather forward, junior."

"You know how we rogue cultivators are. Bad manners. Lots of questions. Poor upbringing. We don't know the right way to do things."

That drew a small smile out of Yuan Hua. Orange-crest thought he looked a little like a younger, softer, version of Elder Xun.

"I've not been a member of the Demon Subduing Hall for decades now. I did not pass the Trial of Red Steel, and was not invited to remain with the sect."

"I'm sorry."

"It was another lifetime." Yuan Hua said with an airy wave of his hand.

"No, no." Orange-crest corrected. "I'm sorry for the Demon Subduing Hall. That they made such a mistake."

Yuan Hua sputtered mid-sip.

"Such kind words, Fellow Big Hat."

"You made me tea."

"I... I do not have a formula for any Foundation Establishment breakthrough pills. Those recipes are closely guarded. I never had close to the merit points required to acquire one from my sect, and have not had the good fortune to encounter one in the years since."

Orange-crest nodded slowly. He'd been right. Slowly, he slid a folded piece of paper across the table next to the pearl.

Yuan Hua opened it. His eyes roamed up and down. Halfway down the page, he froze, then slammed the paper back down on the table as if he was afraid orange-crest would demand compensation from him just for reading it.

"I cannot afford your Loess Pearl. I definitely cannot afford this."

"It's not complete. But my master was in Foundation Establishment. He liked making unconventional pills. He thought about using a Loess Pearl when I was ready for my own breakthrough, as one ingredient of many."

Yuan Hua's breathing was uneven. He muttered under his breath. "I have more than half of these. My refining flames and furnace are both compatible... It's missing elements of fire and metal, but if I sell my stock, I could enter closed door training..."

"What is the rent, for your shop?" Orange-crest asked. "I'm thinking about setting up one of my own. I am something of an alchemist myself."

Yuan Hua told him.

Orange-crest coughed. Yuan Hua smiled sympathetically.

"More tea?"

Seven spirit stones. Per month. Orange-crest's half-considered plan of offering to take over Yuan Hua's shop vanished in an instant. That was more than an inner disciple's allotment at the Azure Mountain. Orange-crest could afford it, in theory. Sell the pearl for maximum stones, and he could afford some ingredients and one month's rent in one of these shops.

"The formations come with it." Yuan Hua explained. "Preservation, security and privacy restrictions, and barriers to protect the district against pill furnace detonations, both internal and external. There's a staff of formation masters all the shopkeepers collectively pay for. More than half our rent goes to them. The other half... Well, there's only so much space in the ward, and true cultivators don't usually shop elsewhere."

Yuan Hua exhaled. His eyes sharpened. "What do you want, for the Loess Pearl, and the pill formula?"

Orange-crest cast his eyes around the shop. He had no idea of the prices of most of these herbs, but many were mundane, and Yuan Hua seemed the right kind of motivated. He wouldn't know how much, or how little, orange-crest knew about local prices.

"Do you have sacks?" The monkey asked. "If you don't have enough stones, maybe we can do some trading in kind?"

Orange-crest left Yuan Hua's shop with his Loess Pearl still burning a hole in his pocket.

But beneath his veil, he was grinning with teeth.

He was a very strong monkey. But his arms were not wide enough to carry that many sacks of dried herbs. He'd need to get all his men together to hope to move them all in one trip. They would do the final exchange then.

He had no idea if he'd gotten a good price or not. He didn't know exactly what his master's formula was worth. He didn't know the market price of most of these mundane herbs, Li Xun had treated many of them as basically costless, buying entire bushels for a single spirit stone, since they were mere supplementary ingredients in Qi Condensation level pills.

But he'd acquired an awful lot of them. Decent supplies of more than thirty different herbs, along with a few more valuable Qi Condensation level plants, and five spirit stones.

He had the stock he needed to open a shop. And he'd sown ties with Yuan Hua. They might not bear fruit. Closed door training to break through to Foundation Establishment was not a quick affair, he could be gone for years. But orange-crest doubted he would be indifferent to him, when he emerged.

Both of them had walked away happy. Orange-crest didn't have the hundreds of spirit stones worth of ingredients to finish that pill, or the resources to advance two more small realms to consider using it. Yuan Hua didn't need a large stock of supplies that would rot if he broke his lease and attempted his breakthrough in a cave without preservation formations.

They both got what they needed.

If that wasn't a good deal, what was?

Unfortunately, Fu Daxian was not as good at business as orange-crest.

"Far too small." Orange-crest declared imperiously.

"It's not!" The former bandit protested. "You can easily fit a shop and a residence in there."

Orange-crest shook his head, his outer veil rustling.

"I need more room to brew wine. And the pill furnace should be far from the alcohol. In case of accidents."

"Accidents?"

"You know," the monkey mimed an explosion with his hands. "accidents."

"That happens?"

"It doesn't if you're a master." Orange-crest realized the words were a lie as soon as they exited his mouth. Li Xun had been a master. His pill furnaces had still sometimes suffered... Incidents. Even if the biggest one had been mostly orange-crest's fault.

"And you're a master, right?" Fu Daxian pressed.

Orange-crest didn't dignify that with an answer.

"Of course he is!" Sun Guiying insisted. "And we'll find him a compound that meets his needs!"

The first place had been almost perfect. Four buildings, separated by a full courtyard, in one of the nicest parts of the city. Mostly inhabited by mortals, but a few poorer cultivators had residences there as well, mostly government officials and clan-offshoots. It was also twenty-five taels of silver a month.

That was far cheaper than the cultivator's ward, but it was still around ten spirit stones a year after conversions. Orange-crest was discovering that he was becoming what men called 'cheap'. Or, perhaps he just balked at the idea of recurring expenses. But the prices quoted to buy a place outright had been astronomical, even for a Qi Condensation cultivator. Hundreds of taels of silver at minimum. Monkeys just found new caves if they needed a warm place to stay for a while. Humans... Their dwellings were traded dearly, at eye-watering prices.

"You could get a warehouse too." Fu Daxian suggested. "Do your brewing or alchemy there."

Orange-crest shook his head.

"I don't know formations. If I'm not there, someone could steal my things."

"Boss—"

"Not now, Brother Ruo."

To orange-crest's mild surprise, Ruo Ping ignored Fu Daxian's dismissal. He stepped past his former boss, addressing orange-crest directly.

"Boss Big Hat. I found it."

"Wait," Sun Guiying said, "you're not talking about the one we looked at, are you?"

"It's massive." Ruo Ping continued. "A small compound. Three buildings. Half a dozen rooms. Not the best part of town. But listen to this. Three taels of silver a month. Only for you. I negotiated that deal with the landlord myself. A special deal, because you're a cultivator."

"He's not telling you that—"

"Shh." Orange-crest cut Sun Guiying off with a hand on his shoulder. "Take me. I want to see it."

A few minutes later, one monkey and three very winded men were standing in front of one of the most ominous-looking dwellings orange-crest had ever seen. He supposed big-crest's cave, back in his stone dream, had been a little bit more ominous. This place at the very least didn't have any bones, human or otherwise, lying around.

It was difficult to place what exactly was so wrong about the compound. The roof of one of the buildings was missing a few tiles. The shed's door hung a little ajar. There was a set of deep gouges in the courtyard, as if a wild dog was digging something up. Smaller scratches around the the doors and windows, as if a cat or bird had been desperately trying to get in.

Or get out.

Despite the relatively inoffensive appearance of the compound, the baleful aura that emanated from the place was powerful. Orange-crest could feel the way the qi of the city was being dragged into the place, sucked down into a pit from which it struggled to escape.

"It." Sun Guiying panted. "Is. Haunted."

Orange-crest waited for the man to catch his breath. He'd been excited, and they'd gotten exercise for it.

"The last tenant killed himself, when his business failed." Sun Guiying explained. "Since then, nobody has stayed more than a night. One man lost a finger. He claimed a wardrobe ate it. Bit it right off his hand. Another almost suffocated in bed, and ran screaming into the street. The owner has been trying to find a tenant for most of a year."

"Ruo Ping." Orange-crest said slowly. "You are a genius."

"What?"

"I'll take it. I would say we'll take it, but you should probably find another place to stay until I deal with the ghost."

"Wait, you were going to have us live with you?"

"Someone will need to watch the shop when I go hunt for treasures." Orange-crest noted reasonably.

"But it's haunted." Sun Guiying repeated. "Properly haunted. The owner got a quote from a clerk for the Ministry of Rites and balked at the price."

"It's three taels of silver." Orange-crest noted. "If it's bad, we'll just move the shop next month. Brother Ping, go tell the owner that I'll take it."

The monkey tossed him three taels of silver. Then he joined his sleeves together, interlaced his fingers, and cracked his knuckles.

"The rest of you, come follow me. I found a buyer for the Loess Pearl. If you want a share of the loot, you need to help me carry it. My arms are not wide enough for that many sacks."

His men's eyes gleamed with avarice. Orange-crest couldn't wait to see their faces. He was going to have such fun with them, before he gave each of them their tael of silver.

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