We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Howard

May 2218

Vulcan

“This is unbelievable,” I said. “How is it that, with two hundred years of progress, men still have to wear ties?”

Bridget rolled her eyes at me as she adjusted the misbehaving article of clothing. Androids couldn’t choke—I’d checked the blueprints—but something about a suit and tie just made me feel like I was being slowly strangled.

“You, sir, are a big baby.” Bridget gave the knot a final tweak. “And despite your best efforts, you look great.”

I grinned in response. “And as a reward, you’ll let me skip—”

“Howard!”

I sighed, as theatrically as I could manage. “Yes, dear.” Humming the Volga Boatmen’s Song, I picked up my suit jacket.