Chapter 263: BARGAIN
Despite Ryker’s words she took her wonderful time sitting in the tub letting the warm water soak her skin. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. The scents in the bath were mild but they were still her favourite ones.
Soon the encounter with Ryker returned to her, she sat up and pressed her fingers to her temple. She raised her leg to inspect her feet, the water slid off her skin. She looked better these days, she chuckled lightly to herself, she could never take a bath like this in the wild. She could not afford it.
Serena stepped out of the bath and dried off her body and applied oil to it. She swaddled her hair and stared in the mirror for a second too long. She could not go ahead with this impromptu trip, she was hardly comfortable with the idea. It came all too suddenly, perhaps if there was some time given to her she would have begged Anna to come along with her.
How was she to fare now? Leaving the castle was not ideal, and all she knew Anna was on expedition. Serena had not realised she was biting down hard on her thumb until she tasted blood. She hissed and waved it in the air to ease the pain.
Livia.
The name floated into her head and her brows knotted, why in the world would she ask that woman for her help.
Serena pulled on her shift and then her dress, a simple garment of soft linen, pale in colour and loose enough to sit astride a horse without discomfort. She tied her sash tightly about her waist and brushed her hair back from her face before letting it fall naturally down her shoulders. Her fingers lingered over the clasps at her sleeve, and she caught her own reflection in the mirror again.
She shook her head. No. She would not seek out Livia. Of all people, that woman was the last she ought to approach. Their history was marred by pointed words and the sharp chill of dislike. Livia had made her feelings clear from the first moment, and Serena had answered with silence. They had scarcely spoken since, it seemed to be for the best anyway.
She sat at the edge of the bed, arms resting on her knees. If there were any other way, she would take it. Anna would have been her choice, for Anna’s presence had a way of settling her, of warding off the unease that overcame her every now and then. But Anna was away, and Serena was left with nothing but her own thoughts, and Ryker’s shadow.
Her hands clenched tightly against her skirt. To ride with him alone, out of the castle, out into some distant town, under his careful eye, no, she was not a fool. There was no good in it. He would find every chance to remind her of what she was, to twist her words until she was made small again. The thought was enough to twist her stomach into knots.
She rose, paced, sat again. She told herself she could endure it. Yet each time the picture of Ryker leaning close returned to her mind, his smile false and his words sharper than any knife, the air seemed to vanish from her lungs.
Her gaze drifted toward the window. A bird darted past, wings catching the morning light, and she followed its flight with weary eyes. She let herself imagine, if only for a moment, what it would be like to be as it was, and not chained to duty, nor bound to falsehoods, nor stalked by the Beta’s disdain.
Her thumb pressed against her lips again, though she caught herself before she bit down. Livia. The name returned like a whisper she could not silence.
She shook her head once more, but the truth was plain before her. She had no ally here strong enough to make her presence with Ryker tolerable. Livia had never been her friend, and likely never would be, yet that same strength that had always seemed so threatening might now serve as her shield. Serena despised that the thought had taken root, but it clung stubbornly to her mind.
What could she possibly offer in return? She sat back on the bed and thought of all the times Livia had hinted, sometimes not so subtly that Serena should be sent away. To leave Ironshade was heavy indeed, far too weighty to be offered as coin for so trivial a thing as companionship on a single ride. And yet she could think of no other way to balance the scales between them. If she came to Livia empty-handed, she would be dismissed at once.
The bird passed her window again, dipping and rising with the morning breeze. Serena’s eyes narrowed slightly as she followed it. What would it take to draw Livia into her company without handing over too much? A thought stirred faintly, no more than the outline of an idea, but she kept it to herself.
She exhaled and rose to her feet, brushing her hands down her skirt to smooth the creases. The decision weighed heavily, but the choice had already been made. If she was to face Ryker on the road, she would not do it alone.
Serena left her chamber and stepped into the corridor, her stride purposeful though her heart still raced. A maidservant passed carrying a basket of linens, and Serena stopped her with a lifted hand. "Do you know where Mistress Livia might be found?"
The young woman bobbed a curtsy. "Aye, your Excellency. Mistress Livia is in the west dining room."
Serena’s brow arched faintly. "She takes her meal so early?"
The servant shook her head. "No, your Excellency. She is not dining, only sitting."
"Very well," Serena said softly, more to herself than the servant. She gave a short nod, and the maid hurried along her way.
The west dining room was not far, though every step along the stone corridor seemed to echo louder than it should. She reached the door and stood before it, staring at the dark wood. Her hand rose once to the latch, then fell again.
She closed her eyes, drew a slow breath, and let it out. This was folly, yet she had already committed herself to it. Whatever bargain she must strike, she would do so with her head held high. Her hand found the latch once more, and this time she did not hesitate. She pressed it down and eased the door open.