Chapter 38. I must find way to save them
AT THE SAME TIME
MEI SHEN’S POINT OF VIEW:
The quiet hum of the room was comforting, but I couldn’t sleep. I lay in bed, fingers splayed across my stomach. One baby. One life beginning inside me, in this world, where I still wasn’t sure if I deserved peace. The necklace still hung around my neck, warm from where Rosalie had pressed it to my skin.
"You’re not alone anymore."I still remember Rosalie’s voice.
But guilt clung to me like frost. Famine. Drought. Villages suffering. I couldn’t just lie here in silk sheets with warm soup on the table and do nothing. That wasn’t me. I pushed the covers off carefully, trying not to wake Lianwei, who’d fallen asleep sitting beside the bed like a guard who refused to abandon his post. The floor was cold. My knees ached, but I ignored it. I padded to the desk and lit a small lamp, pulling a few blank pages from the drawer.
’Plan for southern grain storage. Request maps of affected provinces. Petition temple stewards for water blessings-’
"You’re doing it again."I heard Lianwei voice.
His voice was soft, but it cut straight through me. I turned, startled. Lianwei stood in the doorway, hair tousled, arms crossed, not angry, but with that look he got when he was worried and trying not to show it too loudly.
"Doing what?" I asked, trying to sound light. "Writing?"
He stepped closer, and the lamplight caught the gold flecks in his eyes.
"No. Trying to carry everything. Alone. Again."He said.
I looked away.