Chapter 14: How Not to Train Your Turnips
Eren stood in front of his field like a war general surveying the battlefield. Except instead of swords and armor, he had a rusty hoe, three watering cans, and a freshly upgraded compost pile that smelled like a troll's armpit.
The sun was barely up, the dew still clinging to the plants like nervous interns waiting to be judged.
Thirteen days. Thirteen damn days until the farming competition. Eren was betting everything on this. He needed the land rights, the gold, and most importantly—the legitimacy. No more second glances at the market. No more "Oh, he's the guy with the murder maid and the magic dirt."
He wiped sweat from his brow. "Alright. Operation Grow or Die begins now."
Lira appeared behind him, silent as ever. "I have assembled today's task plan, Master Eren. It includes soil rotation, water efficiency mapping, and biometric root pulse scanning."
Eren turned. "Root pulse what?"
She handed him a parchment. It looked like a NASA launch checklist had a baby with a fantasy herbology scroll. "It's optimized to increase yield by 12.7%."
"Lira, I can barely read half this crap. What's this squiggly part?"
"That's Elvish for 'don't water at noon.'"
He squinted. "Elves are dramatic."
"They are."