I Want To Lay the Very Best!

362 – Where In The Rules Does it Say a Murkrow Can’t …



You leave Pokémon alone for ten minutes and can return to basically anything. When Brandy left, they'd been eagerly having sex, so once Rhona had sent Brandy on her way with an encouraging slap on the rear, she was surprised to come back to a card game.

They were all so engrossed that they barely acknowledged Brandy with more than some nods, so Brandy tried to piece together what had happened. There were a lot of odd things to take in.

"I swear to Arceus," Sparky said, two hands pointing accusingly at Morgan while the others hugged her cards to her chest. "If you pull another full art Rose out of nowhere, I'll start webbing your hands together."

Sparky was wearing a gorgeous black dress with a thigh-length slit, revealing flashes of shimmering gold beneath, or at least at first glance it looked like that. But Brandy's Compound Eyes soon discovered that it wasn't gold lining. No, Sparky was wearing two dresses at once for some reason.

Morgan smirked as she flicked out a full art Rose onto the top of the pile. "You can do any webbing after you put on another dress, buggo."

Sparky let out a long, theatrical groan as she grabbed a dress from the pile of luxury garments they used as a card table. Her Agility let her slip into it like it was a T-shirt, despite it being pure gothic excess, layers of black lace with deep crimson embroidery curling like thorns over the bodice, and dramatic bell sleeves that were wide enough it let Sparky put two arms in each sleeve.

"Check me out, Calcine," Sparky said once she had it on. "I'm that haunted chandelier Pokémon."

"Chandelure," Brandy added quietly, just because it'd bug her if someone didn't say it, but she didn't want to interrupt this mess; it was too intriguing.

Calcine, who had been mostly focused on her cards, glanced up at Sparky and then did a slow, appreciative once-over that made the Joltik instantly bristle with warmth. The corner of Calcine's lips curled in a smirk as she set her hand down, tilting her head.

"Gorgeous," Calcine growled, smoldering, "If you're up for letting ghosts in, can anyone possess you?."

"You don't have to flirt every time," Morgan grumbled. "Learn the game!"

"Wow!" Sparky puffed her cheeks. "Some of us can multitask Morgan. We can kick your ass at this game while also being devastatingly attractive."

"You haven't won a single round," Morgan deadpanned, impatiently tapping the top of the deck.

"I've been distracted by my good-looking partner," Sparky gestured at Calcine. "She's all post-sex sweaty, and it makes her glisten; how is a bug meant to think?"

Calcine leaned on her elbow, fanning herself with her cards. "I'd apologize, but I can't help it."

Sparky sighed, giving Calcine the dreamy eyes as she propped her chin on her hands. "You really can't. You just exist like that. It's criminal."

Calcine smiled, flames licking around her lips and blew Sparky a small puff of fire kiss. "I do my best."

Morgan let out a long-suffering sigh and snapped her fingers to try to draw attention. "Alright, lovebirds, can you focus? Calcine, play your damn hand."

Calcine blinked at the table, then back at Morgan, then down at her own cards. "I have no idea how this game works."

Morgan groaned and slumped forward onto the pile of dresses. This allowed Brandy to go through her hand, letting out a snort as she saw what was in it. "Morgan's cheating."

Morgan batted Brandy with a wing for her, calling her out, but Brandy just took the hit with a giggle. Brandy held up Morgan's hand for everyone to see, barely containing her laughter. "Morgan has four Professor Poppy cards."

Sparky's eyes widened. "Wait, you can only have four of a card in your deck. I remember that bit. Does that mean she's cheating? How's that cheating? I'd notice them in the discard pile; my eyes are the best."

"She's given Calcine all her duplicates so you wouldn't notice!" Brandy said, hopping into Calcine's lap and fanning her cards out.

Sparky gasped, scandalized. "Morgan! I am shocked. Shocked!"

Morgan waved a wing dismissively. "Oh, please. Like any of you were keeping track."

Calcine, still staring at the cards, shrugged. "To be fair, she was right. I didn't spot it. Still cheating, though."

Morgan crossed her arms, entirely unrepentant. "I never said I wasn't cheating."

"She's unrepentant, Calcine," Sparky sighed. "Brandy's too soft to punish her."

"Get me a paddle, and I will."

That shorted out Sparky's brain for a moment while everyone else just looked thoughtful, but eventually, Sparky's mouth kicked back into action.

"Morgan doesn't deserve to be punished by Brandy, so I'm pulling out my trump card."

Sparky reached into the pile of dresses and felt around, before giving a yank and pulling Dani up out of the center of it, clothes spilling off her head with a bra stuck to the top of her crown dangling down her face. Also dangling off Dani were the two Froslasses, who had taken an arm each and were cozied up good and tight. Dani blinked as she was hoisted out of the dress pile, eyes slow to focus, but the smile on her lips was instant and easy. The two Froslass clinging to her made soft, chilly noises of protest at being disturbed, one curling tighter around her arm while the other nuzzled into her neck. She giggled at the cold tickle and reached up to pat their heads reassuringly.

"Oh, Sparky! Hi!" Dani beamed, utterly unbothered by the bra still tangled in her crown. "What's up?"

Sparky held her dramatically, pointing at Morgan with two hands while the others adjusted Dani's bra into something vaguely decorative. "She cheated at cards!"

Dani gasped, eyes wide with concern. "Oh no! That's terrible! How did she do that?"

Brandy helpfully waved a handful of Calcine's cards in the air. "She stuffed extras into Calcine's deck so Sparky wouldn't notice."

Dani's hands flew to her cheeks. "Morgan, no! That's so mean!"

Morgan lazily stretched, smugly amused at the indignation. "I never said I wouldn't cheat. It's not against the rules if it's not in them."

Dani pouted, wriggling to sit up properly, the Froslass adjusting with her so they could stay snug at her sides. "Morgan, you have to at least try to play fair! Winning doesn't feel good if you don't do it properly!"

Uh oh. Brandy tried to clear her throat to cut this short, but it didn't work.

Morgan's eyes darkened, her red gaze cutting like a blade beneath the brim of her hat. "It feels great to win. You have to try your hardest. Even if it means bending the rules."

Dani gasped softly, her hands flying up in flustered panic, nearly dislodging the Froslass still clinging to her arms. "Oh! Oh no, Morgan, I didn't mean ... I wasn't saying you don't try your hardest! I know you do! You're really good at things! You're so clever and sneaky, and, oh, um, not sneaky in a bad way! More like, uh, crafty and cunning? Oh, that still sounds bad."

Dani clapped her hands together, her panicked energy rising. "B-but that's okay! We can make it fair! We just need to, um ... um ... oh! Maybe everyone gets to cheat a little! Just, like, an agreed amount of cheating! So it's even!"

Brandy finally stepped in, raising a hand before Dani could make a horrible error. "Alright, let's pump the brakes before Dani accidentally invents the worst version of this game imaginable."

Dani's hands curled in front of her, still flustered. "Oh! Was that not a good solution?"

Brandy patted her shoulder reassuringly. "There's not really any good solutions, but I don't think any of us want to let Morgan have her hand at the idea of regulated fraud."

"Actually, that does sound fun," Morgan said, "I'd like to hear more."

Brandy flicked the brim of Morgan's hat, "I bet you do because you were getting bored beating them so easily."

Morgan gave a slow, smug stretch, "Mm. You're not wrong. Ran rings round them."

Brandy gestured to the group. "Then I say we end it here! No winners or losers, just a Dani so cute, even ghosts can't resist her."

The Froslass at Dani's side made happy little hums of agreement, nuzzling closer. Dani giggled at the cold tickles, pink blooming on her cheeks. "Aww! That's so nice!"

Sparky, still tangled up in layers of gothic fashion, threw up her hands. "That's how we're ending this?! Morgan gets away with cheating because Dani is adorable?!"

Brandy tilted her head. "I mean, she is very adorable, isn't she?"

Sparky opened her mouth, then paused, staring at Dani, who was currently being adored by two ice ghosts and looking as pleased as a Snorlax in a sunbeam.

Sparky slumped dramatically. "Fine! But only because Dani being a Froslass dick-sucking machine is kind of a legendary start for her on the team."

Calcine pulled Sparky into a hug. "I'll strip you back down; that way, you don't lose."

"Acceptable." Sparky huffed. "You better destroy Morgan on your date."

"That's the plan," Calcine said sweetly. "Speaking of plans, what now, Brandy?"

"Well, Rhona's making Dani's dress-"

"I get a dress!" the Magikarp burst out, her face lighting up.

"You're part of the team," Morgan said, leaning over to pat her head with a wing. "You get a dress."

Brandy took a deep breath, trying to regain control of the conversation before things derailed utterly again. "Right, listen up! We're splitting up for deliveries, or we'll be at this all night. Rhona was exhausting."

"Wow, you made her cum already?" Sparky cackled.

"I didn't sleep with her!" Brandy said.

"Yet," Morgan added.

"Yet," Brandy admitted because she had promised she was going to. The punky dressmaker had a real draw to her, and there wasn't anything wrong with liking older ladies. Surely Maple wouldn't tease her over it. Especially if she never found out.

"I wonder if she has abs," Calcine said, stroking her chin. "Dani, can you ask your Froslass ladies?"

Brandy started clapping madly while chanting. "Focus! Focus! Focus!"

The team dissolved into laughter as Brandy's frantic clapping echoed through the room. Sparky was giggling into Calcine's shoulder. Morgan was grinning at the chaos she was clearly intentionally stirring. Dani blinked at everyone in confusion at what was so funny, her hands gently stroking the Froslass at her sides.

"Oh! I can ask them!" Dani said, always eager to be helpful. She turned to the ghosts, her voice bright. "Do you know if Rhona has abs?"

The Froslass exchanged a look, and then one of them leaned up and whispered in her ear.

"Woah!" Dani gasped, "That's even better!"

"What was it?" Brandy asked.

"No, no," Morgan said, standing up and adjusting her hat. "We've work to do, don't we, Brandy?"

This was revenge for calling her out for cheating. Brandy just knew it. That smug smile was way too pleased with itself.

Brandy groaned, dragging her hands down her face. "Fine! We're going!"

Sparky cackled as Calcine hoisted her up bridal style, Morgan shot Brandy a wink before sauntering off with an infuriating sway in her step, and Dani tucked her Froslass in the pile of dresses to rest before joining Brandy's side.

Brandy exhaled, rubbing her temples. "Sometimes they test me, Dani."

"You clearly love them, though!" Dani said, "And you could always plan revenge?"

"I could plan revenge," Brandy nodded, finally picking the bra off Dani's head and holding it up to her chest.

"Woof," Brandy huffed. "I don't match up to Spikemuth goths."

"Not many do!" Dani chirped, "But maybe we'll find one you can try to tackle at the next delivery!"

Hopefully not, or this really was going to take all night to finish.

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