Chapter 65
Tw: Mention of child abuse
"Kai, why? Why did your father leave me?"
"He promised me! He promised that he would marry me, so why did he betray me?"
Kai could still hear the screams of his mother as she gripped his head, her fingernails digging deep into his skin, blood seeping out.
At the time, he hadn’t understood. His small hands had clutched the hem of her dress, his young mind struggling to grasp why she wept so bitterly. But as time went on, he began to understand, she cried for his father, who had left her when she was pregnant with him.
Seeing his mother cry this way, his innocent, childish mind had a single thought. If you loved him so much, why didn’t you lock him up? He wouldn’t be able to run away, would he? Then you wouldn’t be so sad. You wouldn’t cry every night. You wouldn’t hurt me anymore.
The realization settled deep in his bones, taking root, shaping him into the person he would one day become. He knew that nothing stayed unless you made it stay.
He had once caught a beautiful butterfly with red and black wings that shimmered under the sunlight. He had been fascinated by its beauty. He wanted to keep it for himself, didn’t want it to fly away, so he caught it and kept it in a bottle. Three days later, it was dead. A part of him had been disappointed, but at least, at least, it had died with him. It hadn’t escaped. It hadn’t left him behind.
Later, he learned why it had died. It was because it lacked air and food.
So, he made himself a promise. The next butterfly he caught, he would give it just enough air, just enough food.
He would take better care of it.