Chapter 38: Are you both...gay?
Elijah’s POV:
My fingers stroked through Ash’s hair absentmindedly while his head was resting over my chest. He was sleeping. And I was glad for that after seeing his breakdown earlier.
I was sitting on the sofa with one of my legs stretched out on the sofa and the other one planted firmly on the floor for balance. While Ash was curled up peacefully between my legs, his body pressed against mine.
His soft and delicate breath that was drifting from his slightly parted lips, I could feel the sensation of them against my chest even from above the shirt. He appeared gentle, vulnerable and extremely weak. Both physically and mentally. And now that I’m looking at him with my sole attention, he has lost quite a lot of weight too.
My thoughts are a mess. I wasn’t angry at him for hitting Benji. I understood why he did it. What worried me was his career. I didn’t want him to lose this role over a moment of rage. But what I didn’t expect was the reaction I got from him later.
I thought seeing him in pain would bring me satisfaction. I was wrong. Entirely wrong. Seeing those tears in his eyes, hearing his voice break with pain—it felt like my own heart was being torn out. Like someone twisted my guts and drained out all of my blood.
When I saw him standing there and silently hearing the taunts from other rookie actors, I felt an unexpected wave of anger rushing towards my head. And I still don’t know why seeing him in that powerless position felt as if those insults were jabbed at me instead of him.
The disrespectful behaviour of the rookies toward him brought out a protective instinct in me. I wanted them all to shut up, to fire them all, yet I endured my uncontrollable anger somehow.
So, now I have come to a decision. And that is. My revenge has to wait.
Seeing Ash like this isn’t giving me the satisfaction I thought it would. Instead, it leaves me feeling hollow and guilty. So, now until I find out a better plan to fulfill my revenge, I should lay low.
I sigh, rubbing my face with one hand. I look down at Ash, still playing with his hair. Now his face looks so serene in sleep. But I can’t forget the anguish that twisted his features just a short while ago. My fingers trace the lines of his face, noting the delicate curve of his cheekbones, the softness of his lips, the long, dark lashes keeping his eyes close.