My Life Was Already Messed Up, So What If I’m a Girl Now?!

"What? Are you serious?" Junpei shouted, loud enough that half the café turned their heads.

I quickly waved my hands. "Hey! Keep it down, man. You’re not supposed to make me sound like a lunatic in public."

Junpei leaned back in his chair, eyes wide, lips twitching like he was about to burst out laughing. "You’re telling me—" he pointed his spoon at me, still dripping with melted ice cream, "—that you saw your old self walking around. Just casually existing. Like some kind of… Ryusei 1.0 strolling down the street."

I rubbed my temple. "Yes. Exactly. And he knew things about me. About me and Keiko. That’s the part that really freaked me out."

Junpei whistled, shaking his head slowly. "Man, when I said your life was dramatic, I didn’t expect soap opera dramatic. Like—switching bodies? Evil twins? Next thing you know, you’ll tell me Keiko’s secretly an alien princess."

I gave him a flat look. "Would you please take this seriously?"

He smirked, leaning forward. "Oh, I am taking it seriously. Seriously hilarious."

I sighed and sipped my coffee, letting the bitterness ground me. "It wasn’t funny at the time. Seeing… him, hearing him. I thought I was imagining things before, but now…" I trailed off, my stomach tightening again just remembering it.

Junpei’s smirk faded into a frown. "And he knew stuff about you and Keiko?"

"Yes. Like he’d been watching. Or maybe… like he was me but not me. I don’t know. It gave me this really uneasy feeling. Especially because I don’t even know who this girl is." I gestured vaguely at myself.

Junpei sighed heavily and crossed his arms. "True… that’s creepy as hell."

"Do you know his name?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Didn’t get it. I was too shocked to think straight."

Junpei groaned. "So how are you gonna investigate him then?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "That’s why I came to you. I need your help."

Junpei leaned back, staring at me like I’d just told him to solve world hunger. "Do I look like I have a sixth sense? Dude, I’m just a dad and a husband now. My biggest adventure is changing diapers and catching the last train home."

I leaned forward, practically begging. "I know, but please. Help me."

He tilted his head, mock serious. "And how exactly? Should I call Ghostbusters? Or maybe an exorcist?"

I groaned. "Come on, Junpei, I’m not joking. It might be dangerous. Creepy even. Imagine if people could switch bodies just like that."

Junpei raised a brow. "Like that, huh? So… imagine if my daughter switched bodies with you—"

I quickly held up both hands. "No, no, no. Don’t go there. That’s exactly why I said this is dangerous."

He cringed so hard his whole face scrunched. "Yeah, no thanks. I don’t want to imagine you living in my kid’s body. Gross."

"Exactly!" I jabbed my finger at him. "That’s why I need to figure this out before something worse happens. And honestly… I had this awful feeling he was interested in Keiko."

Junpei’s joking face dropped into seriousness. He let out a long sigh. "Okay. Yeah, that’s bad. Really bad. You’re right, this might be dangerous."

After a moment of silence, he tapped his chin. "Alright. I’ll talk to my friend. You know, the guy who helped get you that fake ID. He might dig up something. But remember—it’s never free."

"I know," I said immediately. "Thanks, Junpei."

He pointed at me with his spoon again, this time with a bit of melted ice cream flying off and landing on my shirt.

I looked down. "…Seriously?"

Junpei snorted. "That’s what you get for dragging me into this mess. But anyway, what’s your plan?"

I shrugged. "I don’t really have one. Tomorrow’s my last day off before starting the new job. I was thinking of going back to that street. Maybe I’ll bump into him again and get some answers."

Junpei stared at me like I had two heads. "So your big plan is… just hang around hoping your evil twin shows up again? Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Sherlock Holmes would be proud."

I leaned back with a groan. "You got a better idea?"

He sighed. "Nope. Which means you’re stuck with the dumb plan. Just—if you do see him again, get something concrete. A name, an address, something. Otherwise, I’m just paying my informant to chase shadows."

"Right," I nodded.

Junpei smirked again. "Man, your life never fails to entertain. Your karma must be through the roof."

"Please," I muttered, sinking into my chair, "don’t make me more depressed than I already am."

He chuckled. "By the way, what did Keiko think about seeing all that?"

I perked up a little. "She was shocked, of course. But… she never doubted me. She always believed I was the real one."

Junpei’s grin softened into a smile. "That’s great. She’s amazing, huh?"

I nodded, feeling warmth in my chest. "Yeah. She really is."

Junpei slapped the table lightly. "You’re a lucky ass, you know that?"

I nodded again. "Yeah… though she’s the unlucky one, stuck with me."

Junpei immediately leaned forward, eyes wide with mock seriousness. "True."

I squinted at him. "Wow. Not even gonna deny it?"

He gave me that blank ‘what?’ look, then shrugged. "Am I wrong?"

I opened my mouth to retort, but his phone started buzzing. He checked it, then instantly softened, smiling like a lovesick teenager.

"Hey, baby," he answered. "Yeah, I’ll buy it on the way home. Love you too." He hung up and looked at me, unbothered. "Sorry, my wife needs me."

I cringed so hard I almost folded into myself. "Ugh, you’re disgusting."

He chuckled. "What, jealous?"

"Not at all. Just… ew."

He laughed again, standing up and grabbing his coat. "Anyway, keep me updated if something happens tomorrow. And I’ll let you know if my guy finds anything."

I nodded, standing too. "Thanks, man."

We walked out of the café together, and as we parted ways, Junpei called after me with a grin, "Don’t let your other self steal Keiko before we figure this out!"

I groaned so loudly people turned their heads again. Perfect. Now I looked like the crazy one all over again.