Chapter 147: The Idiots Won’t Let Me Resign
“Whatttt!?”
The trio of idiots—Suzuka, Miko, and Aki, the so-called ‘leader’ of their idiot alliance—screamed so loudly I thought the glass windows might actually shatter.
I had just dropped the bomb: that I’d be resigning in January after Ruka came back.
A normal group of coworkers might’ve given me a gentle farewell speech, or maybe some sad but supportive hugs. But no, of course not. I had to tell this particular circus troupe, didn’t I?
And to make it worse, Keiko was on her day off today. Meaning… I had no shield. No backup. Just me… versus the Three Stooges.
I was doomed.
“Ryuko, what happened?” Miko’s eyes widened like I just told her I’d sold my soul to an alien mafia.
“You’re not forced, right? Tell us the truth!” Suzuka gasped like a cheap drama actress.
Aki sniffled, wiping imaginary tears, “I’ve lost… my teased friend.”
Then, as if rehearsed, all three of them started fake crying at once. Loud, ugly sobs that would make any customer think we were running an insane asylum, not a restaurant.
Thankfully, I told them after closing. If this scene happened during business hours, the Google reviews would read: “Food was okay, but the staff were having a breakdown in the corner.”
I sighed. “Just… be happy for me, please.”
But of course, asking them to act normal was like asking a dog to stop barking at shadows.
Miko whimpered dramatically, “H-how can I be happy…”
Aki immediately chimed in with a sly smirk, “When you’re happier than us?”
Suzuka nodded sagely, “That’s illegal.”
Then Aki exploded into a scream, “WHERE are you going, Ryuko?! You can’t just be happier than us!!”
Miko threw her hands in the air, “You can’t LEAVE us here to rot!”
Suzuka added a solemn “Yes, yes,” like some monk chanting mantras.
And me? I just stared at them. Blank face. Dead inside. Wondering what series of bad life choices led me here.
“Okay, guys. That was all and thank you for today!” I clapped my hands together, trying to sneak away.
But before I could take a step—
“Nu-uh, don’t you dare, girl.” Aki grabbed my arm like some cheap villain.
“Yeah, nope.” Suzuka latched onto the other arm.
Miko pointed at me like an overenthusiastic detective. “You think you can just walk away without facing the trial?!”
“Trial?!” I yelled. “What am I, a criminal?!”
“Worse,” Aki said gravely. “You’re a deserter.”
I groaned. “What now?”
“You need to throw us a grand resignation feast,” Aki demanded, puffing her chest.
“What?! Isn’t it supposed to be the OTHER way around?!” I waved my hands in the air. “Normally the people left behind usually treat the one who’s leaving!”
Miko smirked. “Are you sure… we’re normal?”
Then, in perfect synchronization, all three of them hunched their backs, scratched their armpits, and started making monkey noises. Loud monkey noises.
Oh. My. God.
I stood there, staring. Just staring. Questioning every decision that had led me to talk with them here.
“See!” Suzuka pointed. “She admits it with her eyes." I sigh, this new kid blends too well with Aki and Miko.
“I am not!” I shouted, waving my hands. “I’m just… cursed by association!”
That’s when Aki suddenly sprinted to the exit door and spread her arms like a goalkeeper.
Miko gasped, then quickly joined, blocking the path. Suzuka followed, of course, completing the human wall of idiocy.
“You’re not leaving until you promise to throw the party!” Aki declared.
“Yeah, PROMISE NOW!” Miko added, wagging her finger like an angry mom.
Suzuka crossed her arms, nodding. “Justice.”
I sighed again, rubbing my temples. “You guys are consistent, I’ll give you that.”
But then, I smirked. A dangerous smirk.
“Unfortunately…” I leaned forward, lowering my voice like a ninja in an anime. “…you’re not getting me. At least not today.”
And before they could blink, I bolted. Straight to the emergency exit in the back.
“AFTER HER!” Aki roared like some villain in Power Rangers.
“YOU COWARD!” Miko shrieked, stomping her foot.
Suzuka’s voice echoed, “Stop resisting arrest!”
Their footsteps thundered behind me, but thanks to my years of running from my problems (and cardio), I managed to escape.
I stopped a few blocks away, bending over to catch my breath.
“God… I didn’t sign up for a marathon,” I muttered, clutching my knees.
What a scene. What a NIGHTMARE. I just wanted a peaceful resignation. Was that too much to ask?
---
When I finally reached home, Keiko was lounging on the couch, munching on snacks.
I flopped down beside her dramatically. “Keiko… I almost died.”
She blinked. “Huh?”
“I told them about me resigning. It was chaos. CHAOS, I tell you.”
And then, of course, Keiko burst out laughing. Laughing so hard she nearly spilled her drink.
I pouted. “Don’t laugh! I suffered! I was hunted like a criminal!”
She kept laughing, clutching her stomach. “God, I’m so glad I had the day off. That sounds like pure hell.”
“It was hell! You should’ve been there to shield me!” I whined, leaning on her shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said between giggles, patting my head. “But honestly… that’s karma. You always tease them. Now you got a taste of your own medicine.”
I groaned loudly. “Why is my life a comedy show that I didn’t audition for?”
Keiko just smirked, poking my cheek. “Because you’re the funniest one.”
…
Sigh. Maybe resigning was the right choice after all.