Chapter 135: Too Late, Too Soon
The next morning hit me like a truck.
My head throbbed like it had its own drum solo going on, and my eyes felt like sandpaper. I’d spent the whole damn night spiraling—memories, regrets, confusion, all tangled in one messy web.
Who even was I anymore?
I groaned and turned over, only to see Keiko already halfway through her morning routine. Her hair was damp, her blouse half-buttoned, and her expression—warm, like always.
“Sorry…” I mumbled hoarsely. “I can’t go to work today.”
Keiko paused, then gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry. Just get some rest. You haven’t taken a single day off in months.”
I blinked at her. Even when I felt like trash, she was always kind. It stung. It made me want to cry and laugh at the same time.
“I’ll make breakfast before I go,” she added as she gathered her things. “Eat it later, okay?”
I gave her a lazy thumbs-up and let my head fall back into the pillow.
---
My head felt like a balloon slowly deflating. I wasn’t dying anymore, just... really uncomfortable. I lay in bed for what felt like forever, sweating under the blanket, staring at the ceiling like it owed me money.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the faint clatter of Keiko in the kitchen, the scent of miso soup and grilled salmon wafting into the room.
When I finally dragged myself up around noon, the breakfast plate was waiting for me on the table—still warm in the food cover, with a sticky note: “Eat this and take your meds! :) - K”
God. That smiley face. That smiley face. It got me.
I did exactly what she told me and felt a bit more alive.
Sometime in the afternoon, my phone lit up. A text from her:
> “How are you? Feeling better?”
A small smile tugged at my lips.
> “Yes… thanks to you.”
I hit send before I could overthink it.
---
I laid back on the sofa, phone on my chest, eyes closed.
Does Keiko like me better this way?
Ryuko… not Ryusei?
I mean, I know Rin told me once—said she like Ryuko. That Ryusei was a scar that would never fade.
Maybe Keiko was the same? Maybe she could only love this version of me.
Everything felt fine now, and I didn’t want to ruin it by digging into the past. But a part of me wanted to know. Just ask. Be brave for once.
Then—my phone buzzed. An incoming call. Junpei.
Uh-oh.
I picked up. “Hello?”
“BRO! MY BABY! RUKA! RIGHT NOW!”
He was screaming. Like full-blown, anime-style panic.
“Bro, chill! What happened?!”
“She’s delivering! She’s delivering the baby right now!!”
My body jolted upright. “What?! I thought her due date was next month?!”
“SO DID I!! But the baby was like ‘nope, I’m coming today!!’ And I panicked! I dropped my phone in the toilet! I put my shirt on inside out! I called the ambulance and then forgot where the hospital was! I—oh my god—IS SHE OKAY?!”
I slapped my forehead. “Junpei. Breathe. Start with that. Is Ruka okay?”
There was a pause. A deep inhale. Then, in a quiet voice: “Y-Yeah. She’s okay. The baby too. They’re both fine.”
I exhaled, letting my own tension ease. “That’s good. That’s what matters. Now calm the hell down.”
“I’m trying!! But dude… I saw the baby. It was tiny and red and screaming, but it was… mine. OURS. I swear I almost passed out. I started crying and the nurse gave me a juice box. A FREAKING JUICE BOX.”
I snorted.
“Did you deserve that juice box?” I asked.
“I deserved two, dammit!” he whined. “I even held Ruka’s hand but I think I crushed three of her fingers. I think I owe her a spa day for life.”
“You owe her more than that, bro.”
“I know!” he cried. “But I’m freaking out. What if I mess this up?! What if I become like—”
I cut him off. “Oi.”
“…Like you used to be,” he corrected quickly. “You’re better now. Kind of.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
“But seriously, man,” his voice turned soft. “Thanks for picking up. I needed someone who’s been through it, y’know? Even if you were terrible at first, you tried. You fought to fix it.”
I swallowed hard.
“I’ll come visit with Keiko later. Let me know when,” I told him.
“Okay.”
Before we ended the call, I added, “Congrats, bro. You’re officially a dad now.”
Junpei chuckled, teary but proud. “Hehe… yeah. Thanks, bro.”
“I bet you’ll be a great father.”
He exhaled on the other end, then said, “Well... I’ll try to be better than you.”
“OI!” I shouted.
He burst out laughing. “C’mon, you know I’m joking. Mostly. I mean… you got potential now.”
I groaned. “You’re the worst.”
“I’m the dad now,” he said smugly.
“Ugh.”
As I was about to hang up, he added softly, “You’ll be a great dad too.”
Click.
The call ended.
And then it hit me.
His last words.
“You’ll be a great dad someday too.”
I stared at the phone in my hand, and my chest twisted.
Tears came out of nowhere. I wiped them fast, annoyed at myself. But they kept coming.
He meant well, but those words—they hurt.
Because I knew.
Deep down, I knew.
I won’t.
I won’t be a great father. Because the chance I had? I ruined it.
Rin…
Our child…
The mess I made can’t be undone. I thought I could fix it, but it’s too late.
I was too late.
I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling again, feeling like my soul had been wrung out like a towel.