Chapter 122: It Will Never Succeed
"Is Duke Rosenberg a sadist?" This was the striking headline Sean Connery saw in Roger Ebert's film review column after opening the Chicago Sun-Times, and it brought him an inexplicable sense of satisfaction.
"I watched Independence Day at a midnight screening last night. Unable to endure the torture of the noise and explosions, I had to leave early. This movie completely exceeds the limits of human endurance. The plot is mediocre, the climax is cheap, the plot holes are endless, and the logic is a mess. I hate, hate, hate, hate it..."
In his lengthy review, Roger Ebert not only trashed Independence Day relentlessly, but he also gave it a thumbs-down—the hallmark of a terrible film—and awarded it an abysmal 2 out of 10!
After reading Roger Ebert's review, even knowing his $500,000 had played a part, Sean Connery's mood improved considerably. He went on to open more newspapers.
"Duke Rosenberg is an absolute demon. He can destroy an audience's most beautiful impressions of cinema. His work never cares about your soul; it only cares about your wallet. The humans in Independence Day saved Earth, but they couldn't save this trash film!"
David Denby of The New Yorker relentlessly mocked Independence Day, giving the film a pitiful 1 out of 10. Todd McCarthy of the Hollywood Reporter was slightly kinder, scoring it a 3.5!
"For most of its runtime, Independence Day tests the audience's patience with flimsy dialogue and glib clichés. As punishment, everyone involved in this film, including director Duke Rosenberg, should be forced to do community service!"
Likewise, critics from other media outlets showed no intention of letting the film off the hook.
"Before watching a Duke Rosenberg film, you must take motion sickness pills. Independence Day is filled with tedious explosions and noise. Of course, for director Duke Rosenberg, not blowing up a major city center in the very first act might be considered exercising great restraint!"