Chapter 277: Inevitable War
Huojin sent for the best people in their army to search for his brother but to no avail. In fact Huojin wanted to search for his brother himself but the Emperor forbade him from leaving the capital city and he was displeased with the Emperor for that. And another devastating news came to them that MingXue miscarried and has less chance of getting pregnant again.
Huojin who had a lot to worry about, showed his worry by shouting at Xing which she didn’t mind.
"You sent my brother to his death!", he blamed her, "Now Shengli has gotten my brother because he wants to get you since you left him for his brother"
The Emperor sent him away and asked him to be with his family for few days to console them but it was plainly a house arrest and Huojin understood it as such too. He agreed to it as he felt the need to calm down and come up with a viable plan.
Xing clenched her hands as she blamed herself too. Not for that reason Huojin mentioned but because she stupidly lost her chance to have ended it all because she was selfish. She was worried about herself and forgot about everyone else important to her that day. She returned to her courtyard and stayed there for some days.
Xing sprawled on the big comfortable bed that was carved explicitly with the best of the redwood the five kingdoms has to offer. The curtains on the bed were of the finest of the finest silk and the phoenix on the top of the bed showed the status she held in the kingdom. A soothing fragrance of blossoms filled the room from the incense holders and she had at least ten maids at her beck and call at any time.
But none of that could make Xing feel better about herself as she started to blame herself.
If only I had that little bit of consciousness that I was willing to leave Chenglie and stay as the Empress because I wanted to protect my family and friends too, I’d have killed old Rong that day. If only I thought through what effects letting Shihong go that day, might do to those around me! Not everyone around me could choke anyone trying to hurt them without even touching them. I was given all that power and I still chose to be a coward in the face of actually fulfilling my destiny.
How pathetic!
Xing looked to her side to see the swing Chenglie brought for her hanging there and she felt more bad about herself.
I knew what a lowly life Chenglie had to lead along with Shihong and yet I didn’t end it that day and sent Chenglie out there with him, again.
Even though I knew how terrible he will feel knowing the one who is in love with him and the one who poisoned his lover is his sister, his father’s daughter, I still sent him back to Shihong because I could not conquer my selfish fears.