Chapter 180: The Wavering Heart
The day of the coronation came and there were a bunch of maids who were alloted to Xing readying her for the big day... The day she’ll appear in front of the court as the Empress of the Wind Kingdom alongside the Emperor.
Xing was just standing there while they were putting on layers of Vermillion Silk robes and fixing her hair with a phoenix hair dress and a lot of other jewellery and one was painting her nails. Xing’s mind filled with various thoughts and none of them were good. Human heart is a fickle thing and no matter how much you know what needs to be done should be done, there will be times when you don’t want to.
No matter what, the more she thought about it and the more closer she got to actually do it, the more she felt it to be extremely wrong for her to be the Empress. She couldn’t sleep the entire night, she didn’t get to see Shengli since last afternoon, her entire body hurt for some reason and she couldn’t swallow a single mouthful of food this morning.
Shengli couldn’t meet her in the morning as she was getting dressed and no one was allowed and Xing felt her chest closing with the guilt, sorrow and helplessness she felt and she asked the maids to leave her alone for sometime and they left her reluctantly.
"Your highness, we still have to do your hair and makeup", one of the maids stood with her heads bowed and her voice was shaking fearing her life.
Everything Xing hated was happening to her here from everyone calling her ’Highness’, the constant supervision and catering to her needs, to her wearing red presently , her hair being tied in the formal hairstyle of a married woman when she is not going to be standing beside the man she is married to... Xing could find a hundred reasons for not doing this but she had only one reason to do this... It was because, SHE HAS TO..!
She’ll be here standing beside the Emperor and he... Chenglei will leave... Just like he did ten years back... But it is not the same as before.. Not the same at all... He won’t give up the idea of joining Shihong...But.. Why can’t he stay here? Why didn’t I force him to stay here? Why did I even agree to this ridiculous proposition?
"Chenglei!", she called for him hoping that he’ll be somewhere near to her and her voice broke as her heart already was. But she couldn’t hear him back and her last shred of rationality broke and she began to panic.
Why is this happening to me?
Xing pushed everything on the vanity table down and a noisy clatter was heard on the outside and the maids outside panicked but no one dared to enter in except Bai Li.