Chapter 168: It’s Not Your Fault
He forcefully hugged her tightly close to his heart and she tried to struggle out of his grasp punching and pinching him. She was like a wounded animal attacking everyone not understanding that they are here to help it but he only held her closer. He cannot let her suffer... not for a stupid reason like this.
"Xing....", he spoke softly in her ears, "My lovely Xing... My moon... ", he continued as his voice sweet and mellow and refreshing as a gentle breeze. He just repeated her name in her ears as her hostility reduced bit by bit, " Xing, I love you... Only you!", he kissed her cheek that was wet with all her tears.
As she calmed down, he wiped her face with his sleeves and kissed her forehead.
Both of them stayed quiet for a while when Shengli’s voice broke her trance ,
"Xing answer me this... If the situation had reversed and I got hurt somehow and became impotent, would you leave me? Or would you marry me for namesake and go and have children with another man? I know how much you love kids" he asked holding her cheeks in his hands softly. He didn’t want to talk to her this way but he didn’t know how else he could explain his stance to her. Even though she stopped crying, her sobs haven’t subsided yet and he wanted to clear everything once and for all.
Xing’s eyes that were puffed up with all her crying, widened and she didn’t know how he could say such things to her and her entire body cringed.
Leave him because of an accident? Have another man’s child?
Shengli felt her body stiffening up and rubbed her back to calm her, "Why? Because I’m a man and you are a woman? So we have different rules or something? Why Xing?", he asked and seeing her tearing up again, he held her close to his heart and Xing could hear his rhythmic, strong heartbeat as he spoke his heart,
"Xing, I’ve never known family. I knew a little about mother’s love because of your mother but I never had a father. I don’t even know what a father is till now. I see your father going to extremes for you and Rijun and may be that’s who a father is.. But I never had such person in my life. Said that, I was never confident being a father myself and I was not keen on becoming one too", he looked her in the eyes,
"But I don’t know when that changed because I felt everything would be fine if you were the mother of my children. Having children just like you won’t be bad, right? And you have a lot of people around you who’d help us raising children too. But....", he pecked slightly in her lips,