Chapter 165: I’ll Let Him Go
Xing who had realised the mysteries around the Gods’ interference in her life felt her heart break when she thought about Shengli.
Xing remembered his jumpy behaviour in the past few days and she knew it must be because of his knowledge about her becoming infertile because of the Poison. He must have tried hard to conceal the fact to her because he knew it would break her and that’s why he stayed away from her. His refusal to let her interact with doctors and also how his heart felt sad beneath his smiling face... He knows!
Xing knew Shengli. He won’t abandon her for this reason. She was sure of that.
But am I worthy of him?
Xing remembered how from the day she met him, he was the one who had given her a lot, protected her and loved her more than anyone else she knows.
Not only she had made him relinquish the throne but also she had only hurt him throughout the years. He became an assassin, he was tortured by Shihong, he had to live the life of an underground businessman because of her and he even refused to take the throne for her and even the title of ’Prince’ he was born with.
When have I ever done anything remotely beneficial for him? I’ve ruined his life! Does he really need me in his life? And to top it off, I can’t even bear children for him.
Xing looked at the evening sky and she felt a deep surging pain in her heart that spread throughout her body thinking about all these. She felt so useless and worthless to be called his wife.
Xing knew he wouldn’t mind her problem and will try to keep her with him nonetheless. But how long will the resolve of a human last? What if one day in the future, he finds her an eyesore and an ill omen who only brings trouble to him? What if one day he brings another woman to their home because she cannot bear him children? Which human would want to not start a family, right?
And also with all the other issues, if she decides to stay in the palace as the Gods want, won’t he hate her for that? He won’t allow her to do that... Who would let their wife stay as someone else’s wife, right?