Chapter 197: Complicated thoughts
cH-196
Eleanor felt happy after having her fill. She neatly placed all the dirty boxes back into the cover and kept them aside. She wanted to throw them away but she couldn’t because of their driving.
She felt uncomfortable with the dirty dishes. For some reason, she wants Regan to get this car cleaned.
Eleanor doesn’t know if it was because of her pregnancy hormones or not. But she wanted everything around her to be clean and neat. Regan could see her discomfort and stopped the car near a dustbin. He took out the bags and threw them in a dustbin. Taking out a freshener he sprayed the car for her to get rid of the strong smell of food. Eleanor heaved a sigh after Regan removed the bags.
Leaning her head to the mirror, she continued to look outside. She watched the tree going behind her, and the people walking on the sidewalks. She saw kids going out with their parents. At the sight of kids, her mood brightened. She caressed her flat tummy and looked at it.
One day even she would take her kid out for a stroll. Maybe she needs to start gathering kid toys for her child. Eleanor felt that it should be a must-to-do task. She decided to include that in her schedule and make time for her. And maybe she should enroll herself in parenting classes. This way it would be easier for her to take care of her child. After all, she won’t have a mother. And she can’t rely on others in the matter of her child. Since Cedric knew about her pregnancy, she doesn’t need to play hide and seek. She was sure of one thing that he wouldn’t hurt her at least now when she was pregnant with his child.
Her thoughts drifted from their earlier conversation. She knew he was telling truth. Because he said the same thing to his father thinking that she was asleep. Since it was like that... then why didn’t he tell these things to her in the start. Does he think she was the kind of woman who needs protection? Didn’t he say that whatever comes in their way should be dealt with together? Then why was he going back on his word?
Eleanor doesn’t want to go back to Cedric, because he could hurt her for the sake of her so-called safety. It also means there were chances that he may hurt her and her child for the sake of their so-called safety again. She doesn’t want to take the risks in the case of her child.
Call her paranoid, heartless, bitch, emotionless, and anything. But she was not going to lie. Maybe the mother inside was already started coming out. After all, she wasn’t thinking about herself. She was thinking about her child. Eleanor would have gone into Cedric’s arms the moment she heard his words, but she didn’t go because she wasn’t Eleanor. She was going to be a mother. She has a child in her. If she wasn’t pregnant she would have reconciled with Cedric and finished what he has started. But... now... she was pregnant. Life was growing inside her womb. His life was important. Just because the baby didn’t come out, it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t matter if the child comes out or not. If the child was safe, the child can live a life of hundred years.
How could she trust a man who almost instilled the fear of death for the sake of her safety?
Next time, he would even throw his son in the ocean in the name of teaching him swimming. And may even say, it doesn’t come alive he wasn’t capable if he comes out safely then he would praise.
Eleanor doesn’t want to put her child’s life in danger for the sake of Cedric. Even her heart was breaking into pieces for her actions. But she has no choice.