Chapter 242 - Liked it
The bathroom door shuddered as Shao’s weight slammed against it, his back pressed to the wood as if he could physically barricade himself from what had just happened. His hands—those hands that had just been on Jai, gripping him, pinning him—now clawed at his own face, fingers digging into his skin hard enough to leave crescent marks.
"What have I done... what have I done..."
The words spilled from his lips in a broken mantra, his voice raw, unrecognizable even to himself. His legs gave out, and he slid down the door in a graceless collapse, his knees hitting the cold tile with a dull thud. He curled forward, forehead pressed to the floor, his entire body trembling with the force of his own ragged breaths.
For a moment, he had lost all control.
The memory seared through him like a brand—Jai beneath him, his wrists trapped, his lips parted in shock. The way his body had arched, responded, even as his voice had cracked with fear. The way his tears had spilled over, glistening in the dim light as he whispered, "I don’t like this."
Shao’s stomach lurched. He gagged, bile rising in his throat, but nothing came up. His chest was too tight, his lungs refusing to expand. He gasped, his fingers tangling in his own hair, yanking, as if the pain could somehow erase the sin of what he’d just done.
"What have I become... what have I done... what have I done to him—"
His vision blurred at the edges, dark spots dancing in front of his eyes. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. The air was thick, suffocating, pressing down on him like a physical weight. He wheezed, his ribs constricting, his heartbeat a deafening roar in his skull.
He had become the monster he feared.
The realization struck him like a blade to the gut.
With a choked sob, he dragged himself forward on unsteady limbs, his hands slapping against the porcelain sink as he hauled himself up. His reflection stared back at him from the mirror—a stranger. His eyes, once a warm, muted brown, were now a dull, lifeless grey, hollowed out with guilt. His lips were swollen, still tinged with the faint taste of Jai.