Chapter 501: a home is a home because it’s filled with people who love you regardless
Natha did say it was all right, but I still felt guilty about all the crying and mood swings, especially to the servants.
It wasn’t every day, but they also couldn’t call Natha every time I got those mood swings to calm me down. When Natha wasn’t available, they had to face my changing moods and unreasonable demands by themselves, because I would never calm down until those demands were fulfilled or Natha came to pick me up in his arms and soothe me.
When I was in that space, not even the vassals and my kids could do anything.
That was shy I felt so bad for the servants, especially Mara and Panne who were at the forefront of my hormonal attack.
"I’m sorry..." I sniffed while shoving a tart winter berry I just demanded into my mouth. My eyes were swollen from crying while waiting for the whole logistics department staff to look for the out-of-season berry.
The servants tried their best to soothe me by giving me confectionaries with that specific berry flavor, but I only wanted the fresh one, so I threw the candies and sweets away like a kid in a tantrum. Even Jade got scared because of it. Seeing the surprised servants and the scared little bird, I was disappointed in myself for acting like that, and ended up crying again until Arta came running with a basket of winter berries she procured from who-knows-where.
And like magic, my mind was soothed from the first bite of the tart berry.
I stared at the bright purple-colored berry Mara had carefully washed and prepared for me. How could I cause panic and make a whole department run around in panic just for these little fruits? I looked at the servants and Arta with a mix of guilt and gratitude.
"I’m sorry..." I started to sob again, but my mouth couldn’t stop eating. "It tastes so good...thank you..." I sniffed. "I’m sorry...thank you..."
Instead of getting annoyed, the servants reassured me that it was all right. Panne tucked me nicely in my scarf, and Mara stroked my shoulder and upper arms to soothe me. Arta, who was staying to accompany me along with Aunt Nezja, helped me soothe the scared and confused Jase while giggling.
"You know, Young Master..." Arta propped her chin while staring at me with narrowed eyes. "I like seeing you like this."