Chapter 472: When you want soon but you don’t know by how much
"Shwa?" Jade perked up instantly at the name, eyes and hand caressed the black pendant on my neck. "Will Shwa here soon?"
I looked at Natha, who was silent for quite a long time--well, a long time for me who was waiting eagerly in nervousness. A minute passed before he finally spoke, but he spoke to Jade instead.
"Jade, be a good boy and get the servants in the kitchen, yeah?" he took Jade off my lap and put the boy on the ground. "Tell them we’ll have breakfast on the lower balcony today, and ask for a lot of jellies."
Jade gasped and with sparkling eyes, nodded before running down to do his errand. I took a deep breath while waiting for his decision patiently, watching him drag an ottoman in front of me and sit on it. All the while, our hands were still holding onto each other.
There, with a bowed head, he took a deep breath just like me before lifting his face to look me in the eyes. As I stared into the steady pair of moonlight, I could see that he wasn’t as reluctant as before; not as scared.
"Are you sure about it?" he asked. "Are you sure you’re ready?"
I nodded wordlessly. I didn’t think I needed to convey it through words, because if it wasn’t my eyes, then our bond would tell him my conviction; one that had been brewing for a long time.
"I’m not only talking about your body or your proficiency," he held my hands tighter. "I want to know if you’re really ready to have a child in your life--in our life. It hasn’t been a year since you lived your life as a healthy person, and there are still a lot of things you might want to do. Things that you might not be able to do once you have a child."
Usually, I would already sush him in the middle. This time, however, I let him finish, even though I knew already what my answer would be.
"I know," I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against his. "I know there will be a lot of change, and I won’t say I would never regret it in the future. But even so..." I gripped his hands too, holding them close to my heart, to our heart--the pulsing seed inside the black pendant. "Even so, I never felt more ready--because you know what?"
"...what?"