Chapter 154: On another thought, my Demon Lord does seem to be that petty
"What?"
"That’s what the kingdom called you," Natha said. "But do you consider yourself that--the Priest of Judgement?"
Ah...for a second there, I thought he found out that I wasn’t Valmeier. I almost bit my lips in fright, wondering if Natha could sense how tensed I was for that short moment.
I shifted my gaze to the scenery; the river and woods flanking the road, reminding me of the first place I called home. "No," I said. "I’m not a priest, and...I don’t like casting judgment on other people."
"No?"
I bit my lips and continued quietly. "I know it probably looked like I was having fun when I cast that curse on Zir’Kal, but--" I took a deep breath, fiddling with the cord on my sleeve. "I kept agonizing over it before I did it, and then after, wondering if it was right, if it was truly just."
"Wasn’t the spear deemed it as so?" Natha asked as he gently took my fingers off the button.
"And that’s the only thing that helps me sleep better," I shrugged. If it wasn’t for that reassurance, I wouldn’t be able to sleep, I think. I wondered if judges had this kind of trouble too. And then I realized something and turned to look at Natha. "Do you...do you feel like that too, when you are presiding over a trial?"
While the realm of greed had its own judicial system, some cases like the martial court and the noble court would have the Lord as one of the presiding judges, so Natha would have his own share of deciding someone’s punishment. Not to mention toward his subordinates.
"No," he answered, and I almost slumped in a sense of patheticness. But he caressed my hair and brought my gaze back to him. "That is because as a Lord, I need to be impartial, and it’s easier to numb yourself from any kind of feeling that might hinder that impartiality rather than trying precociously to balance between compassion and cruelty."
"Oh..."