Chapter 18: I thought the first time would always be the worst...
I had to tell you this—although it should be obvious—but I had never been involved in any romantic experience in my whole, short life. Being bedridden and confined to the ward didn't pass as a charming point, it seemed.
Anyway, the only romantic development I had was a one-sided crush on a handsome internal medicine resident. Well, I also knew that there were a lot of patients and nurses who liked him, so there was nothing special about it. It was a feeling that naturally surfaced as the man attend to me during the winter when I turned twenty, and went away with the melting snow.
Deep, deep inside my heart, I had wished that the answer was the other one; the sacrificial kind. Then I just had to resolve myself on hating him, seeing him as something evil and revolting just as the human propaganda always told us; resolved myself to plan an escape.
But now I couldn't do that.
Now, I was trapped inside a vortex of confusing feelings. Now, when I felt my heart beating and my cheeks warming, I had no idea whether this reaction came in response to the Demon Lord in front of me, or to the memory of a man whose name was already vague in my memory.
"Don't think too much,"
"...h-huh?" I realized I had lost in thought when I could no longer feel his fingers on my face.
Instead, there was a weight on my shoulder, and I stared blankly at the deep blue lock gathering there. "Don't make it complicated," he said again, crossing his arms and leaning at me.
Wow, easy for you to say, Mister Demon Lord. Did this man even know what kind of battles happening inside of me right now? I pursed my lips in annoyance, but when I peered at him, I saw that his eyes were closed.
"What...are you sleeping?"
"No," he smiled, but his eyelids weren't moving. "Just resting my eyes."