Chapter 677: Open up(4)
For a long moment, no one spoke. Not Alpheo. Not Asag. Not Jarza.
The crackle of the water, the soft hiss of reeds brushing in the breeze, and the distant call of some unseen bird filled the space between them. The sun had shifted lower now, casting long, golden lines across the lake, painting the world in the colors of late afternoon. Still, no one said anything. But Egil shifted, just a small movement, a slight scrape of his boot on the dirt, and then cleared his throat as if bothered from the silence.
He was a creature of sound, and as a consequence he disliked the quiet.
"I’m not trying to be ungrateful or anything," he said, his voice lower now, less sure of itself. "Truly, I’m thankful. For what you’ve done, for what we’ve built. We have warm beds now. Bellies full of food. We’re not anyone’s dogs anymore. We answer to no one but ourselves."
He paused, staring out across the water. His jaw worked as if trying to find the words he really meant to say.
"It’s just... sometimes I wonder. Were we happier back then? When we were just men scraping by, wandering from one job to the next? Life was simpler. All we had to worry about was where we’d sleep, how to stretch the food between us, and whether the next town would spit at us or hire us."
He gave a soft laugh that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
"I remember those nights by the fire, the cold, open sky above, our cloaks drawn tight around our shoulders. We’d talk nonsense just to keep warm, passing a flask between us and arguing over which one of us would die first from eating boiled moss. There was something about it... I don’t know. I think I miss that. The smallness of it all and how close we were each second."
The others remained quiet. Perhaps out of respect. Perhaps because they didn’t disagree, at least not enough to say so.
Alpheo finally moved. His shoulders shifted slightly, as though loosening something heavy off his back. His eyes remained on the water, but his voice came steady, deepened by memory.
"I understand," he said slowly. "Those were happy times for you and in some small ways, they were for me too. I had my freedom, finally. I could choose my own path. I could chase after the promises I made to all of you. But for me... those days were also some of the hardest."
He paused, drawing in a breath as the wind stirred the surface of the lake. A silvery ripple rolled outward from where a fish had broken the water.