Chapter 2: The Pit
“I’m telling you,” Helades emphasized, “you’d be much happier if you tried a nice omnivore existence for another lifetime or two. You could—”
“Please,” Simon interrupted as he grasped onto this thin thread of hope.
“Fine,” she agreed after a moment.
She obviously didn’t appreciate being interrupted, and Simon cursed himself for doing it. He wasn’t trying to be rude exactly - other people just didn’t understand how important the things he was trying to say were sometimes. “If you’ve done terrible things in your previous life and need to improve your karma, you might need to spend a life or two as someone born in a terrible place or with an awful disease. War orphans. Children in times of plague or famine, that sort of thing. It’s not something you’d benefit from, though, Simon. You’ll just have to trust me.”
“What about the other one? Punishment incarnations? What are they?” He agreed that the idea of becoming an orphan with the plague didn’t sound like a very good life, but if he could do it in a fantasy world, there was always a chance he could find a healer or something to reach his goal.
“Those are false lifetimes. They’re less of life than they are a test or challenge. There are many different kinds, but they all have one thing in common: to test you, and if you pass, you can find a life that might be better suited to you.” She explained. “In some, you fight inhuman opponents; in others, you endure unendurable hardship or achieve mythic goals. I’m not sure you’d do well with them.” Simon was sure, though. This was exactly what he needed. How many lifetimes as a dumb grazing animal had he endured just because this bitch hadn’t told him that he could just do what he’d been practicing for all his life: play a fighting game.
“I respect your opinion on these things, Helades,” Simon lied, “You are a goddess, after all. But this sounds like exactly what I’ve been looking for anyway. Perhaps you could tell me more about them anyway? Even if I decide that being a Koala is the right path, I’d like to know all my choices.”
“Very well,” she answered, leaning forward and reaching for another book that flew to her from a different shelf. “In the siege of Antethon, you hold back the demon armies for as long as possible, but if you let the city fall, you’re dragged into the depths of hell for a decade before you try again. In—”
“Wait, hell is a real place?” Simon blurted out. Any game where a loss resulted in ending up in hell was right out. “Like - I could end up there?”