Chapter 17: The Eleventh Cycle of Time (III)
When Li Shiqing first started university, her mother was worried about her falling in love at an early age, and she spent a night of agonising advice with her.
Li Shiqing has forgotten most of what she said that night, except for a few words that she has always remembered.
Mum said, "You can't force a relationship between people, when the other person is no longer in love, you don't have to force it, it's good to get together and leave yourself some last decency, the most important quality for a woman is self-respect."
She says, "You can't think that just because the other person is a man that they should give in to you and cooperate with you in everything, because what you don't want to do, what you don't want to happen, they don't want to do either. If you get used to being dependent, you lose the ability to stand on your own two feet, and that's putting all the chips in someone else's hands who can shuffle the deck and start over at any time."
She adds, "A good relationship is one where both people are getting better at it, and if you find that one person is suffering, or one person is getting worse, then there is something wrong with the relationship and you need to reflect on it. If it's not your problem, then it's time to end the relationship. If the problem is not solved, time will bring it to an end even if you don't want it to."
Although her mother was talking about how one should respect and love oneself in a relationship with a man, Li Shiqing always felt that her mother's words were just as true when placed in the context of normal human interaction.
After all, relationships are a form of "human interaction".
So, even if they are just ordinary friends, Li Shiqing has always followed this guideline to get along with them.
She is not "retreating" or "posturing", she is extending her hand to Boy, not as an invitation but as a promise.