Are You Even Human

"Maria!!! Maria Maria Maria! You're back!"

"Hey Ana! Yep, I'm—oof!"

Maria's reintroduction to our friends is quickly cut off by a mermaid torpedo, Anastasia accelerating into a head-on tackle at first sight. The two of them spin in the water a little, laughing and hugging.

"You're not screamy and scary anymore!" Anastasia announces, which I suppose is one way to think about it. "I love your pretty fins!"

I have to agree with Anastasia on this one. I liked how Maria looked as a human, but she's even more stunning now. We practiced a bit with her new features before joining the others, and while Maria doesn't have the ability to make herself look like she's wearing full complex outfits the way I do, she can at least shift her skin enough to make her appear to be wearing a bodysuit rather than just being butt naked. She's gone with a blue and yellow 'bodysuit,' to complement her currently-purple fins, all bright and stunning like a tropical fish.

"Well you too, my little mermaid," Maria counters back, booping Anastasia's nose and eliciting a delighted giggle. "Such a dazzling color!"

"You have rainbow hair! That's the dazzlingest!" Anastasia protests, laughing again. "Aaah, gosh! I'm so glad you're back!"

"Yeah," Christine agrees, floating toward her. "Good to see you all back together again, Maria. You, uh… everything good up there?"

She taps her forehead for emphasis, causing Maria to shrug and release Anastasia from the cuddle, her tentacles curling around each other with mild anxiety.

"It's… definitely different," Maria says. "I still have all the memories of being… that thing, as fragmented as they are. And I'm in the network now. Still getting used to that."

"Ah yes, 'the network,'" Peter says, making air quotes. Water quotes? Whatever. "You looking to assimilate us now too?"

"Haha, um. Jury's still out on that," Maria manages awkwardly. "I'm pretty sure the overmind isn't going to puppet my body around or anything, if that's what you mean."

"Wait, overmind?" Christine flinches back. "Is that really a thing?"

Obviously it's not in any traditional sense, but… well, one look at the colony could definitely convince you otherwise. There is no single supreme mind dictating the actions of the drones like is so often depicted in fiction, but… in some ways, you could consider a colony's network to be like a singular, highly advanced mind. A gestalt consciousness, in which the arms and legs of the colony are given work and purpose through the mutual agreement of all the minds within it.

The colony is, in many ways, a colony organism, countless cells working towards a singular, joint purpose. Our connection with each other runs deep, and even I, the most disconnected member of the network, feel something akin to a 'greater will' of the colony itself. It's an amalgamation of the thoughts and opinions of all its members, a great averaging of everyone's beliefs that helps guide our policies and decisions. The colony is my ally because I am the colony, and the colony is me. Our goals are intertwined. You could argue that is a sort of 'overmind,' in many ways.

"Um… no," Maria answers despite my musings. "I'm joking. Anyway, the network is a little odd, since there are all these different thoughts in my head all the time, but I guess I'm already a bit used to that! So it's really not that strange for me specifically. It's just weird that most of the people in my head aren't me anymore. They're very nice, at least. Julietta wasn't lying about her colony being really sweet."

As if to emphasize her point, Pathless Wanderings Gladden Futures takes this opportunity to sidle up next to her, to which Maria responds by scratching him along the spine like he's a particularly elongated cat. Despite the fact that aliens aren't really made to feel physical pleasure the way we are, he seems to quite enjoy it, probably because he can pick up on the way the gesture is intended as one of casual affection.

"Huh," is most of what Christine manages to say. "We, uh, ready to go then?"

"Leave already?" Blossom frowns, legs crossed as she floats upside-down above us.

"…We got what we came here for, right?" Christine says. "None of you expected us to like, live here, right?"

"Of course not," I butt in, since the reuniting seems to be done with. "But we're probably staying here a little longer just because we don't have a concrete plan. I mean… we're wanted fugitives now. We can't just head back to Emily's apartment and crash there."

"It probably wouldn't kill us," Emily chimes in. "That doesn't make it a good idea, though."

Yeah… plenty of bad things could happen to us upon being caught that don't involve killing. I can't help but shudder a little thinking back to Commander's power.

"Plan was form alliance with other colonies, yes?" Blossom asks. "More road trip."

"Perhaps more literal road trips," I agree. "Especially given that the colonies most valuable to get on our side are probably the ones bordering human territory. We might be able to sway the United States by securing them reliable sea routes, but all that swimming would be very slow."

"There's a gazillion queens though, right?" Ana asks. "It would be slow getting a lot of them no matter what."

"That's a good point," I agree. "To waste the least amount of time, we'll probably start with aiming directly for whatever Queens we think are most likely to agree. The bigger our alliance at the start, the easier it will be to get more members. Or… I assume so? Does it work like that in alien culture, Blossom?"

"Ehhh," Blossom hedges, wobbling back and forth in the water. She glances between Maria and me. "Is complicate. Translate?"

"Um, sure," Maria nods. "I think I probably can."

"Okay," Blossom says, and sends us several dense packets of information regarding inter-clan politics that take a while to unravel. Generally speaking, it seems, the relationship between the gods of two clans takes precedence over most everything else. A clan of Perfection won't ally with just about anyone barring other Perfection clans, for example, even if the consequence of doing so is inevitably annihilation by a vastly superior force. There are rare exceptions to this, however, and we might be part of one.

It's the same as when we were traveling: the news we bring about the Grand Queen's designs failing on humans is of vital importance to all colonies, and by and large it supersedes holy rivalries by itself being an issue of utmost religious importance. There's a problem with this, though. On the way here, our mission was more than enough to nearly guarantee our safe passage through alien territory, but safe passage and military alliance are two very different things. In many ways, as the chosen of Possibility who discovered the solution to this problem, we are obligated to share it with as many colonies as possible, and trying to leverage it to form an alliance would be in extremely poor taste, if not outright offensive.

It gets our foot in the door, make no mistake, but afterward we have very little we can do to create a large alliance of different colonies. Every new god we add to the alliance will cut other gods out of it by necessity: Legion will not work with Division, Failure will not work with Reciprocation, and just about nobody will work with Blasphemy or Perfection. And if we do begin to form a large enough alliance, Contradiction will refuse to join on principle.

"…It sounds like aliens are a bit too fragmented to make this easy on us," I summarize. "We will need a very strong plan. The kind of alliance we're looking for is nearly unprecedented."

"Nearly," Blossom agrees. "Heaven War only exception I think of."

Oh yeah, the 'world war' Blossom was talking about back at the Bliss colony. I guess she has decided on an official English name for it, and… yeah, I guess that's a fair translation.

"Right, so unless everyone gets a common enemy they hate more than each other, they aren't working together," Christine summarizes. "Just like humans, honestly."

"Does 'the apocalypse' not count as a sufficiently common enemy here?" Emily asks. "I feel like it should."

"Should? Yes. Does? No," Blossom says. "Hard to beat up apocalypse. Good enemy is one that can be killed."

"Given that we're trying to unite as many people as possible, I'd rather it not be for the purpose of killing anyone in the first place," I say. "We need a different angle here."

"Hold on," Maria says. "I… think I caught most of that, but some of those pairings Blossom mentioned… don't we have most of those? Legion and Division. Reciprocation and Failure. Perfection. That's me, Christine, Ana, Emily, and Peter. And we all get along fine."

"Well yeah, but we're humans," Peter says. "Or, well, mostly humans now, I guess. We don't have all the dumbass cultural holy war obsessions that the bugs do."

"Well, we don't anymore," Christine corrects. "Mostly."

"Aliens are not bugs," I protest. "They don't even have exoskeletons. We've been over this."

"And I still don't care," Peter says.

"Wait! That it!" Blossom says brightly, flipping right-side up with excitement.

"What, the bug thing?" Peter asks.

"No!" Blossom says. "The humans hate war thing! That how we make alliance!"

"Uh, how exactly?" Christine asks. "Most of us don't really hate being at war with you."

"But you hate, yes?" Blossom says. "And you want alliance. So we find your councils and they will want too!"

"Uh… what do you mean?" Christine asks.

"Oh, hell no!" Emily chimes in. "No way, nope! I know exactly what she means. She wants to turn all of us into Angels!"

"Nuh-uh!" Blossom protests. "I not do it, I teach your Queens how turn you into Angels! Then you convince Councils to join us!"

"Oh my god, that would work," I realize. "That would absolutely work. If The Divinity of Wonder can share with you and me how the process works, and we can explain it and oversee it with their Queens…"

"I have been assembling such instructions since you left, Twisting Scars Reshape Fate! It is my duty to share this knowledge regardless," Wonder confirms.

"Hello? Are you not listening to me? Are you not listening to yourselves?" Emily presses.

"Will it kill you?" I ask her.

"I…" she cuts off, pausing. "It… it might?"

"But will it?" I ask. "How likely are we talking?"

"Not… as likely as I was expecting," she admits. "But you're talking about disassembling and reassembling all of our bodies and brains!"

"Well I… survived," Maria says hesitantly. "The second time, anyway. I can see the logic, but will it really be enough to sway an entire colony just like that?"

"Probably," I say. "Once everyone is in the network, their council will be able to feel their urgency and all the reasons it's important to them. The aliens will actually understand humans in ways they couldn't before. And since we already know that the gods like humans—as evidenced by the powers we keep getting—every single colony will be religiously incentivized to make peace with human nations once they understand that's what the humans actually want. They probably won't listen to Blossom and me, but they'll definitely listen to one of their own council members."

"And all we have to do is completely betray humanity and become aliens," Emily squeaks. "Easy peasy!"

"I mean, we kind of already did the betraying thing," Peter points out.

"We didn't betray anyone!" Anastasia insists. "We're trying to help everyone. They're just being stupid jerks about it."

"I thought you of all people wouldn't want to be an Angel, Ana," Emily says.

"Well I don't!" Anastasia snaps. "But… if it saves the world, we gotta, right? That's the whole point of all of this. We have to be heroes even when it's hard."

Oh, baby.

"If you all are that against it, we can find another option," I say. "I think this will work, but there's no reason it has to be the only thing that will work. We can keep putting our heads together on this."

"I… am a little torn," Christine says. "On one hand, I don't really mind getting a new body and brain like, conceptually? My original set kind of sucked. On the other hand, our Queen is like, the one we feel a 'pull' towards or whatever, right? Like the same way we feel towards the moon but weaker?"

"Yeah, basically," I confirm.

"Okay," Christine says hesitantly. "Well then… I think mine is the one in Chicago. So. I dunno about that."

Oh. Oh shit. I glance over at Anastasia and notice her entire body tensing up just at the thought of it all. The Chicago Queen killed her entire family. A while ago I promised to help her get revenge if she wanted it, and… well, she's sort of blessed by the god that makes worshippers of Blasphemy prone to forgiveness.

"…Ana?" I ask softly. "Are you alright?"

"No," she says. "Hey, Ms. Blossom?"

"Yes, little one?" Blossom hums.

"If we kill Christine's Queen, does she get a new one?" Ana asks.

"Oho," Blossom grins. "Yes. She do. Maybe not best plan for diplomacy, though?"

"Well the other Division Queens probably won't be too mad if she dies from getting chopped to bits, right?" Ana asks seriously.

Blossom's grin grows ever wider.

"It certainly soften blow, vengeful one," she confirms.

"Hmm, y'know, now that we're supervillains, we're gonna need new villain names," Peter says. "For Ana's, I vote Bloodthirsty."

Christine snorts.

"I still can't tell whether you can't read the room or if you're reading it too well," she says. "Let's be honest: 'Breakdown' was always the most evil name they could have given me."

"The obvious villain counterpart to 'Seraphim' is 'Nephilim,'" Maria chimes in. "Plus like, they're half fallen angel and half human. It's perfect."

"Does that make your counterpart Mab, oh Queen Titania?" Peter asks.

"Can we get back on track, please?" I ask. "We don't get to pick our own villain names anyway. We're not the side with a PR department, remember?"

"Okay but like, twenty bucks on 'Nephilim,'" Maria says.

"Yeah, that's a good one," Christine agrees. "No bet."

"Focus!" I snap. "If people aren't on board with the 'turn into Angels' plan—which is fine, I definitely get it—we're going to need a different plan in its place. We need thoughts, people. Ideas."

"Well hold on," Peter says. "I never said I wasn't on board."

Huh. Really?

"Oh yeah?" I ask. "You didn't seem super comfortable in the last weird body I gave you."

"You didn't give me any arms or legs!" Peter protests. "Plus I barely knew how to move myself. None of those will be problems for going Angel mode, right? I'm down to try. And I figure, hey, if it works out well for me, everyone else might relax a little more about it? Let's be real here, none of us are objecting on the grounds of loyalty to the United States military. We're just worried about ending up like Maria. No offense."

"Absolutely none taken," Maria nods. "I wouldn't want anyone to end up the way I used to be either. I think I'm pretty happy with my current body overall, though!"

"Yeah, you got to help make it, right? The idea of somebody reading my mind and making me some super hot bod in response to whatever I want is at least conceptually cool. We can all agree on that, right?" Peter says, glancing around at everyone.

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"…Yeah, you've definitely got me there," Christine agrees.

"We're fugitives either way, and we probably won't die doing it…" Emily hums. "And even if something does go wrong, it's fixable. God, I can't believe I'm actually considering this. Are we sure Julietta doesn't have mind control powers?"

"I'm sure," I confirm flatly. "Are you all sure, though? Really? Ana, how do you feel about all this?"

All eyes go to our littlest family member, Anastasia's own gaze focusing on her clawed fingers.

"…I'm already a witch," she says.

"Ana, no," I chide. "We've talked about that."

"Yeah, and you said that I can be good no matter what," she says. "It's not about what we are, it's about who we are. And stuff."

"Well… yes, that's true," I confirm.

"I can't say I like it. Aliens are scary. But there's mean aliens, like the ones in Chicago, and then there's good aliens too, right? If I can be a good witch, I guess I could be a good alien too. Like there's good and bad mermaids! The bad mermaid has octopus tentacles instead of a fish tail, but I think that's because tentacles on your butt are bad and tentacles on your head are good."

Maria snorts.

"I-it's not the exact position of—" I start, but Peter cuts me off.

"I'm so glad you understand everything there is to know about tentacles," he nods sagely. "You really are a smart kid."

"It is… true that tentacles are more like arms than legs, so it doesn't actually make much sense to replace legs with them," I concede. "They serve a more effective purpose on the upper half of the body, where most of the object manipulation happens. So in that sense, head tentacles are better than leg tentacles. But the point is to emphasize that morality is independent of physical form."

"You're just using a ton of big words to tell me not to worry about it again, aren't you?" Ana asks, wrinkling her nose.

"Extremely Julietta behavior," Maria nods sagely.

"No, I… ugh," I give up. "Basically, yes. Sure. So… what I'm hearing is that Peter is volunteering to be our test dummy to see if other Queens can make working Angel/human hybrids with Wonder's instructions telephoned through Blossom and me. That means we'll be starting with a colony of Perfection, though, which… is a little worrying."

"Not ideal," Blossom agrees. "Not worst option either. …Not sure what worst option be, but probably not this."

"Ehhh, you said they'll all love me there, right?" Peter asks. "Then it'll be fine! Everyone who likes me automatically has great taste, so there shouldn't be any problems."

"The point is," I press, desperately trying to regain some semblance of control over the conversation, "would that be enough for everyone? If you had more evidence that the process wouldn't ultimately harm you, would you be convinced to undergo it?"

"It's not 'harm' that's really the problem, per se," Emily says. "But… ugh. Yes, I would be convinced. I'm actually already convinced. You know why."

"You don't have to base your decision off of that," I remind her gently.

"I'm trying not to for most things," Emily says. "But for something like this? Yes, I absolutely do."

"I guess I'm down, if the whole Chicago issue is dealt with somehow," Christine sighs. "Like, fuck it, right? I'm already a thousand feet underwater, floating in the middle of an alien colony and chatting with one to arguably three Angels. This is, very literally, already well into the deep end. May as well keep diving."

"Having a new body will make fighting easier, right?" Anastasia asks. "Like I could… hold more blood or something."

"Sweetie, it's important to consider this beyond just the realm of fighting," I tell her.

"Not until the war is over," she disagrees. "And if I don't like it, you can always undo it later, right?"

"My powers really don't interact with brains well," I remind her.

"You don't need to use your powers," Anastasia says. "I mean, not directly. Can't you just shapeshift into a Queen?"

"I…" I start, and… well, I'd need a lot of biomass to do that, or… well, no, if I'm just making the biological reconstruction chamber it would be well within my capabilities. I didn't really have time to get my Queen's entire template just due to the sheer size of her, but I have enough of it to make it work. A Queen's brain is extremely large, though, so I would need a dedicated design for it… hmm.

"…I guess I could," I admit. "It feels kind of wrong, though. Like I'm skipping a few important steps."

"A Queen should have proper training," Blossom agrees, small wisps of envy wafting off of her. Sorry, Blossom!

"Indignance," she sends over the network. "It is fine. I will get over myself."

"Blossom's status as Princess has always been important to her," Chaos explains. "Even after so much time, she struggles to acknowledge her strengths without the ability to compare them to another's weaknesses."

"Such as my intelligence to your stupidity," Blossom immediately snips. "…But yes. Contrition. Failure haunts me still."

"I am at least more intelligent than Pathless Wanderings Gladden Futures," Chaos protests.

"Agreement," Wanderings sends cheerfully. "The important difference, I believe, is that I am not trying to act smart!"

"Emotional destruction!" Blossom laughs. "Yes! Yes! Victory for Pathless Wanderings Gladden Futures!"

"Your cruelty is boundless and your mercies are absent," Chaos laments. "I am well and truly slain."

"Within my mind, I am performing human gyrations of jubilation upon your fallen body!" Blossom says, starting to clumsily dance in the water.

"Lo, for all possibilities are sacred," Wanderings sends solemnly.

"Amusement!" Maria starts to laugh, thoroughly enjoying the byplay.

"What happened?" Peter asks. "Is Blossom having a seizure? What's funny?"

"Julietta's council," Maria chuckles. "They really are like a family."

"Oh," Anastasia says, looking around through the water at the arms of the Queen surrounding us. "Really?"

Ah. Okay, I think I already get what's going through her head. I swim over and scoop her up into my arms, giving her a big hug.

"You are my family no matter what," I assure her. "Always. No matter what you do, no matter what you want, no matter what you choose. I will support you."

She hesitates a moment before leaning into the hug, burying her face in my shoulder.

"…I know," she mumbles. "But Momma always said I should be nice to my relatives. Even if they're old or weird."

That startles a chuckle out of me.

"I thought you got along really well with your grandparents…?" I say.

"Older!" Anastasia insists. "Weirder! My great-grandma only listened to bug music and said anything else was bad rocks."

"Bug… music…?" I blink.

"Do you mean bad rock?" Maria asks. "Rock… bug music… are you talking about the Beatles? Did your great-grandma only listen to the Beatles?"

"What the hell are the Beatles?" Christine asks.

"The genre-defining band of about ninety years ago," I answer. "I don't think it's controversial to say they were pretty good, but your great-grandmother sounds… particularly opinionated."

"She was like that about everything!" Anastasia huffs. "Everything was either completely good or completely bad to her."

"Yeah, crazy," Christine says, swimming over to ruffle her hair. "Good thing we don't know any little kids who think like that."

"Yeah, that—wait, hey!" Anastasia protests. "I'm not that—ackpflbe!"

Her objections are quickly cut off when Christine's noogie undoes enough of her braid to let the water remove all hope of control from her hairdo, turning her into even more of a miniature medusa than the two girls who actually have the closest thing to snake hair barring actual snakes.

"I've got it," I assure her, swiftly gathering up her hair in one hand and fishing up the loose strands with my tentacles. Crossing my legs, I give her a lap to sit on despite the fact that we're both floating, just because I think the familiarity of it will help her keep still. "Alright then, everyone. Final vote. Are you all willing to form the alien alliance by convincing your own councils?"

"Yes," Anastasia says. "I am."

"I'll give it a shot," Christine nods hesitantly. "God, that's going to be so awkward. Didn't you eat one of them?"

"Extenuating circumstances," I insist.

"I'm down," Peter says, getting us back on track for once.

"Yeah, I'll do it," Emily sighs. "This is going to suck."

"Maybe, especially in your case," I concede. "But… thanks, everyone. Love you all."

"Love you too," Maria says, swimming in to give me a quick peck on the cheek. And in the network, I feel that love, and she feels me feel it, and she feels my own, and… god. Thank you, Possibility, for giving me a chance to make it to this moment.

"In that case, I guess the next question is… where is Peter's Queen?" I say, feeling awkward about basking in the joy too long. Blossom flicks me in the back of my head, but I ignore it.

"I dunno," Peter shrugs, pointing a finger. "Thattaway, I guess."

"West," I hum. "Towards the mainland. I suppose that figures."

"At least we might be able to get some real food on the way there before the military finds us," Christine sighs. "It's weird just suddenly not feeling hungry as Julietta teleports random crap into our stomachs."

"It's my favorite way to eat, personally," I comment.

"We know," Maria, Christine, Emily, and Peter all say at the same time. Okay, geez. Do they even need the network?

"Well then… we need to start planning when and how we're leaving," I say, swapping into network-speak. "Sorry, everyone. It seems I won't be able to stay for too long."

"This mission, I believe, is divinely ordained," The Divinity of Wonder says. "I would never have been able to improve upon the Grand Queen's designs without your assistance. Your powers seem almost purpose-built to enable this to be… well, possible. I could never dream of placing myself in opposition to your mission."

"Agreement."

"Agreement," Wanderings and Chaos say together.

"I would be happy to help guide you to your destination, but having over half the council away from the colony at one time would be a potential safety risk," Wanderings says. "Additionally, I do not believe my powers would interact favorably with the artificial fast-movement constructions that A Blossom of Wilted Chances has spoken of. It would likely be faster to make use of them. My blessing is many things, but it is not quick."

"Clarification: your powers would also make the journey much safer, would they not?" I ask.

"Affirmation. However, we would be capped at my maximum swim speed. Even should I reoptimize my body for such a task, it is unlikely I could match the speeds A Blossom of Wilted Chances described for long."

Hmm… yeah, that makes sense. The fastest fish can reach almost seventy miles an hour… but that's not exactly a long-distance travel speed. Some birds might be able to match a car for sheer overland travel efficiency, but… giving everyone the kinds of bodies that could keep up with that wouldn't be feasible. Maybe if we get a car and have it match whatever speed Wanderings is going…? No, probably wouldn't work. Logistically ridiculous, and extremely conspicuous. Wanderings can phase through things to get to his destination, but he never becomes invisible.

"Alright," I eventually concur. "It seems like kind of a waste… but I suppose you're needed here."

"I am," he agrees. "But I doubt anyone could convince your fellow Princess not to accompany you. You will be far from alone."

"Of course," I sigh. "You're really coming again, Blossom?"

"Indignance. Stupid of you to ever think I would not," Blossom insists. "You are important. I will be near you forever."

"Thanks, I think?" I say, and Maria sidles up closer to me, giving Blossom a suspicious look. It's… it's probably not what you think it is, Maria.

"It is," Maria says.

"It is," Blossom confirms.

Oh my god, Blossom, you don't even have a concept of romance!

"Like you do? Idiot," Blossom says.

"Amusement. She's got you there," Maria concedes.

Wh—Maria! You're my girlfriend! You think I can't do romance? Romance is social. I can do social. I will plan SUCH a fucking good date after this whole end-of-the-world business is taken care of.

"Sweetness, that's going to be three years," Maria reminds me.

Then I will… make time…? Somehow? Even though our priorities in this situation should clearly be on something else? Y'know what, now that I'm thinking about it, doing things for your partner even when that's really stupid or inefficient might be like, the primary basis for romance. I could probably map the whole thing with this theory…

"Maybe this one too hopeless," Blossom says, turning to Maria. "Dump her. Date me instead."

"Wh—excuse me!?" Maria yelps.

"Blossom!" I protest, forcing a blush away from my face.

"Whoa-ho-ho!" Peter says, grinning wildly. "I mean, you should consider it, Maria! It's only a matter of time until Julietta fucks an alien. Why not beat her to the punch?"

"Peeeter, have I mentioned that I've recently figured out how to shoot lasers?" Maria says, fake sweetness dripping from her tone.

"Have I mentioned lately that I'm fuckin' invincible!?" Peter announces. "Come at me! Unlike the body horror sisters, I bet you can't even find some horrific way to drown me! Which—by the way—won't work on me anymore. Hoo-ha!"

Oh, he figured out a way around that? I assume he doesn't just mean the ability to breathe water; that wouldn't exactly help him against blood. Interesting. I wonder how it works. I almost try to ask him about it, but then I notice him doing fake kung-fu moves in Maria's general direction and decide it's a much better idea to ignore him.

"Returning to main topic: how soon are we leaving?" I ask. "I suspect most of my human friends will prefer to leave as soon as possible. This is not the kind of environment that is comfortable for humans."

"Reluctant agreement," Maria chimes in. "You are all very kind and wonderful, but we need land and we need others of our kind."

"The only thing keeping you here is the information The Divinity of Wonder must bestow upon you," Chaos says. "Regretful: it would likely be best if you received it immediately and then left posthaste."

"Equally regretful: I must agree," Wonder affirms. "We love you, Twisting Scars Reshape Fate. We beseech you to return as soon as you are reasonably able. But until then… your mission comes first. A Blossom of Wilted Chances, it is time for me to teach you all that I know. Please do not begrudge your fellow Princess for receiving this blessing without proper preparation."

"I understand," Blossom says. "The mission comes first."

The mission comes first. And what a doozy it is: prevent the apocalypse. We've finally gotten everything else out of the way. No more distractions. Just that giant, monolithic goal… and us.

There's no time to wallow in the scope of it, however. My Queen is drawing deep on our connection to give us… a lot of information at once. Even given the way my powers help me understand biology on an instinctual level, I feel like I'm only feeling out the edges of what she's explaining. But… that's alright. Alien brains have a bit more conscious control over what they commit to memory, and certain scents—such as important information explicitly designated by a Queen—can be remembered much more easily than they otherwise might be.

Although… my brain might change. So I can't rely on that; I have to do everything I can to memorize things the old-fashioned way, too, just in case things aren't as convenient as I'd like them to be. The Divinity of Wonder and Blossom are both very patient with me, though, and several hours later… we're ready to go.

"Alright, everyone," I say, resisting the urge to massage my forehead. "Unless anyone has any pressing desire to stay… we're heading back to land."

"Just like that, huh?" Christine says. "Well, I guess I'm not complaining. We going stealthy or loud?"

"We're going to try to go stealthy,"I answer.

"So loud."

"Probably pretty loud, yeah," I sigh. "I am… literally the only one here with a power that's any good for subtlety."

"Wrongness! My power capable of subtle," Blossom protests. "It just boring, so I don't."

"Great," I deadpan. "Thank you, Blossom."

"Hehe! False words," she giggles. "I know this kind! It is the sarcasm."

"Excellently noticed," I deadpan again, causing her to bust out with even more laughter. "Alright, everyone. Come on. All aboard the Julietta train."

I shift into my elongated angelic form and everyone hops on, the weight on my back considerably lighter now that Maria is no longer a four-headed monster. Bidding final goodbyes to my colony, we ascend to the surface of the water, making our way straight to shore. We have no way to know exactly how far Peter's Queen is from here, so we're going to start by taking the most direct route available to us to gain as much ground as possible before inevitably meeting resistance.

And so, gazing toward our projected landing point on the shore… we quickly find that moment is a lot closer than we expected it to be.

"Are those… people?" Maria asks, squinting ahead.

"Pretty sure they are," I confirm, shifting my eyes to better compensate for the glare of the evening sun in front of us. "Oh, you motherfucker!"

It's In-Joke! It's that goddamn bastard In-Joke and like, seven other people! Who the hell are they? Hold on I recognize that one, that's definitely the teleporter guy I let go in Atlanta. Wait, is that lady Lia's mom!?

"What the flying fuck…?"

"Julietta! What do your freak eyes see?" Peter calls out to me as if I wasn't like, literally right here.

"It's… the Defenders of Nothing," I answer. "Or at least I assume so. They're… waiting for us? Oh my god, In-Joke spotted me somehow. They're waving."

"You want to kill this person," Blossom notes.

"I want to make sure they are never a problem ever again," I correct. "If that means killing them, so be it."

"Hmm," Blossom frowns. "Fellow blessed, though. Of our god, yes?"

Right. I guess this is the one kind of enemy Blossom wouldn't be trigger happy to kill. Well, it's not my style to attack before at least trying to talk, even if that's pretty fucking justified here. In-Joke's whole deal is knowing too much and knowing what to say to manipulate shit into their favor. Letting them talk is objectively a bad idea. Although… we don't know anything about most of the people they brought with them. All we know is that they aren't here to ambush us. They're remaining very plainly visible.

And ultimately, of the people we do recognize? I probably owe Lia's mother a conversation. Which… they probably know, which is probably why they brought her. Maybe? Uuugh, dealing with precogs is so goddamn frustrating!

"We could just avoid them?" Christine suggests.

"We most likely can't, actually," I say. "They have a teleporter with them. They will be able to outpace us, and even if we hide underwater, In-Joke will probably know where we intend to surface. Somehow. This confrontation is inevitable, so we may as well take it while we're fresh."

"Should I start getting some blood out?" Ana asks, hopping out of the water to sit sidelong on my back. Her claws hover dangerously over her wrists.

"Can I just give you some to work with, Ana?" I plead.

"No," she answers, shaking her head. "Not this time. Not if we're using it to hurt someone."

"I not kill chosen of Possibility," Blossom says. "But if danger is in words… no reason we cannot make chosen shut up, yes?"

Hmm. Yeah. You know what, that's a good point. I accelerate toward the shore, picking up speed. We'll figure out what these assholes want, and afterward we can decide what to do with them. Because, frankly, I don't care what bodyguards the precog came here with. I don't care what set of powers they think can beat me. If they put anyone else in danger, anyone at all, I am tearing them apart and there is nothing they can do to stop me.

They might be able to see fate, but I reshape it. I'm not going to lose to some smarmy jackass with a tea set.