BECMI Chapter 343 – Hidden Armies
“Hidden undead vorces?” Prince Drakkar von Jaggenfel, Grand Marshal of Zanzyr and very Prussian-style military supremacist, repeated alertly. “How many undead vorces?” he asked warily.
“Oh, they were not disclosed to you on the annual reports from Zanzyr’s noble Houses? This is truly shocking, Prince Drakkar.” I shook my head slowly as he grunted at the lie and I took another sip of the steaming Marquis Green tea. Alchemically treated variant, of course.
He pulled a long face, his eyes shifting as he reached for his Monocle and put it back in place over his eye, a little magic making it sure it wouldn’t fall off this time. “As long as they are not actife as soldiers, they would not be included among actife numbers or reserfes. The reporting ov undead in serfice to you is not required as a matter ov national law, only within a House, and so I would not be apprised ov such… prifate invormation.”
I just flicked an eyebrow up. “Oh? And you never managed to pierce the veil of secrecy and discover the hidden cards and unseen armies of your fellow Princes and their servants? I confess to being somewhat surprised.” Not. “Surely you didn’t think your fellow Princes didn’t have hidden forces at least equal to Herr Doktor’s triumphant Corps of the Created, succored safely under Castle Wyrmhorn and waiting patiently to march out and defend the city from any and all attackers, even if the armies of Zanzyr are out on campaign?” I asked archly, earning another deep frown from him. “Your ability to cow the dragons of the Uskvaralls is also well-known, and you ARE a Dracologist. If you could not draw on draconic aid to protect your people, then you are totally inept and do not deserve your station.”
He now seemed chagrined that I had seen through so much of his planning. “Your sources ov invormation are surprising,” he acknowledged my revelation thinly.
“I am not including the many Charmed and bound beasts you have frozen in stasis or otherwise are using, because all Wizards use such things, including your peers.” Making full use of his own and his people’s activities as monster hunters and trainers.
“Efen iv not absolutely confirmed as to their numbers, one could make inverences of what vorces would be afailable to the other Princes,” he answered slowly, finally willing to prove he was not an idiot. “Elementals vor Iendul, Fuireze, and Vascouz, undead vor Caergard and Bulgarov, creatures ov Shadow and Nightmare vor Lhamsa.” He paused thoughtfully. “Neither Erendyl nor Colorajo hafe any rumors swirling about them about secret vorces, but gifen every elv is a wizard ov some ability, perhaps they don’t need them when efery citizen ov their House is a resource!” he admitted with some grudging admiration.
I found myself amused. “Ah, the military mindset. Inclu is not known for its capabilities in espionage and subterfuge, it is true.” His lips turned down at the implied weakness. “Colorajo’s strength is in using the gifts of Witchcraft, Prince Drakkar. Curses, Charms, gathering information through seduction and wiles, manipulating others to do their work for them. Being throttled by a Witch’s Curse is a fine way to warn off any attacker, and they excel at stealth operations, getting in and out of dangerous locations, reaching the unreachable, and killing those who present a threat to them.
“Of all the Houses of Zanzyr, the smiling, arrogant fops and lasses of Colorajo are the most skilled at the social graces, and killing you smiling in your sleep.”
He considered those words calmly, doubtless comparing them to some things he had heard and witnessed over the years. “Their endless parties and dancing are ways to be introduced to the noble and powervul, and ply them vor secrets behind masks ov dalliance and vlirtation?” he mused aloud, shaking his head thoughtfully. “At the fery least, they make it entertaining, Lady Edge,” he admitted, somewhat bemused.
“That I cannot deny, Prince-Marshal. Their reserves fight the battle before it ever hits the field, and if done well, the battle is won before it begins, whether the enemy knows it or not.”
“And Erendyl?” he inquired, daring me to answer.
“Have you ever seen an entire forest come to life and march to kill you?” I asked him blandly.
His eyes rose from the new tea being poured, fixed on mine in shock, and then considered the implications of that.
“Then… all I am hearing ov these new devenses, of mofing hills and walls ov thorn, waves ov illusion and mists that misdirect?” he asked slowly.
“You asked of forces, not defenses. In a proper elven homeland, the trees are the defenders. You might say Belle’s defending army might get very, very large when it is needed to be.” In more ways than one.
“I… see.” It wasn’t something that would be activated for minor raids, but a full-blown invasion by an enemy? They would be running in to their deaths!
There were things you could do to act against the trees of course, beginning with fire, but that might just get you surrounded by wildfires, trapped, and burning down with the forest.
“And what do you think Verdain’s unseen vorces are?” he asked with a huff. “I haf good sources ov information there, and can vind no such concealed armies or otherplanar connections to draw upon.”
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I just shook my head and smiled slightly. “Prince Drakkar, you are ignoring two very obvious things. Both are hiding in plain sight.”
“Please, elucidate, Lady Edge,” he said, only a little stiffly.
“Verdain’s Prince is the Grandmaster. His secret force is every non-House graduate of the School since its inception. They all know they owe everything to the School and its leader, and if he calls, they will come… and quite a fair number of those from other Houses, too.” Including Radiant Liches, I noted to myself.
“And the other?” he inquired after a moment of consideration and a nod. Not ALL students, of course, but a very surprising number...
“There are over five hundred lycanthropes spread through the territories of House Verdain. The Grandmaster doubtless knows of them. I don’t think I need to tell you the fate of invaders not prepared with silver if he should choose to call upon them and offer them legitimacy in return for defending their chosen hunting grounds.”
It was his turn to purse his lips in consternation. “Vife hundred?” he repeated slowly. “That, that is an impressife number ov them, Lady Edge…” he said slowly. Especially given how they were supposed to be hunted in Zanzyr...
“There are over a hundred doppelgangers, phasms, and other shapechangers, too,” I went on coolly. “And yes, the Grandmaster knows of them, also. I guess you could say they are the epitome of a hidden army?”
His dark eyes glittered with understanding. “I see,” he nodded slowly. “And thus, evvorts to vind them nefer turn out well?”
“There are over two dozen different spells effective against shapechangers in the Great Library of the School, Prince Drakkar. Those spells never seem to be used in Verdain, because they would work.”
He sipped for a long moment, thinking. “Lycanthrope hunters in Verdain’s lands are not treated much divverently than fampire hunters in Transyvia,” he noted shrewdly.
“Almost as many werewolves are in Transyvia. They are dominated by the vampires. There are a couple clans of weretigers in Lhamsa Prince Jughamya uses as convenient minions to dispose of troublesome fools. Killed by mountain tigers is a noble way to die, yes?” I said without emotion.
“Quite possible, too, and deniability is eferything.” That the Grand Marshal preferred straight-up fights didn’t mean he was blind to alternate methods, he just wasn’t adept at them. “You do not think we should go to war with the Khan, despite him being an existential threat?” he tested me.
“He is not an existential threat. His clerics decrying that you don’t honor the Immortals were the threat. All you had to do is point out that you are indeed the chosen land of Thaum, they had to believe it, and suddenly you are just another neighbor, your conflicts the mundane things of money and power, instead of religious or patriotic zealotry.”
His hand twitched towards his nose, the faint residue of blood still on his trim mustache. He’d heard me talking, too, and despite really, really not wanting to, he believed me, too.
Zanzyr wasn’t a land without Immortals, it was the chosen land of Thaum! It’s just that if you weren’t a wizard, He really didn’t give a damn about you.
The news was going to spread, and likely make the local wizards even more insufferable. But their foundation population, ah, they were going to be looking elsewhere for inspiration and relief. Peasants didn’t like being treated like cattle any more than wizards did.
I could see his frustration mounting. “Zanzyr has the vinest military vorce in these lands! We could drife the nomads bevore us-!” he started his spiel, and trailed off as he saw my eyebrow arching in total disbelief.
“For someone who wrote a book on military tactics, you are frightfully ignorant of actual troop quality,” I said back to him, making him stiffen at him ignoring his own much-vaunted scholarship. “Zanzyr’s militant wizards lack any kind of staying power in an actual stand-up fight. What saves them is the fact they are led by powerful wizards. That is it, full stop,” I sliced my hand across, and his eyes flickered as he could not deny it. “They are a very effective ranged combat force, it is true, IF their opponents are likewise of mediocre quality. If the enemy has any kind of intelligence, like, oh, fighting at night, or in the rain, or the fog, they are meat on the plate, since their close-combat abilities are horrible and they become victims.
“I don’t think I need to mention how inferior the quality of Zanzyr’s common infantry and cavalry is compared to most other nations, mostly due to the lack of martial traditions, in both combat ability and morale. They are even more prone to flight than your wizards, as it is always better if the wizards can kill the stuff at range, and if the wizards can’t kill it, than how can they?”
The smirk in my eyes made him bristle. “The army of Zanzyr has successvully devended it vor hundreds ov years vrom infaders!” he blustered proudly.
“And if they were all elves, that might mean something,” I agreed, his expression falling again. “You fight the occasional disorganized bunch of humanoids savages coming out of the mountain, and when any serious invaders come, you rely on overwhelming magic from range to wear them down and eventually chase them away.” I reached up and tapped my temple with a long black nail. “Go ahead, Grand Marshal von Jaggenfel. Ask me about any major battle Zanzyr has been involved in since it became a magocracy. I think you will find that the quality of Zanzyran soldiers has been dropping for all these decades, and is why none of the noble Houses rely on soldiers for anything other than a stopgap before magical beings, spells, and built-up magical defenses carry the day.
“Zanzyr’s power is mage power, not manpower. Trying to start an army of conquest is a fool’s move. You have neither the strength to win nor the numbers to hold the ground you take. You know this, and are ignoring your own words to that effect.” It wasn’t quite a sneer, but he winced at the pointed barb.
“And the Immortals pity you if you actually manage to stir up Siricil or Delpha. They will roll over Zanzyr like it isn’t even there. You are aware that you don’t even qualify to be a landed noble in Delpha, yes? You need at least another century under your belt and Overmagus status… of which there are at least a thousand in Delpha, and exactly ONE in Zanzyr.
“And the Grandmaster is not you.”
He reddened at the implications. “I think you underestimate the power ov Zanzyr’s armies, Lady Edge!” he stated boldly.
“I most certainly do, Prince von Jaggenfel.”
Blood spurted out his nose again, but he felt it coming and leaned over so it didn’t get on his flawless white uniform. Vexed, he stared at me, trying very hard to overcome the implications that I could not lie successfully to him, while taking out a white kerchief to dab away the blood. I noted it already had some crimson streaks on it, to my quiet amusement.