Magic Murder Cube Marine

System was done with Francis’ bullshit. But it needed to figure something out first. If a human consumes the soul of a lich, and washes it down with some of the most potent liquor in the world, does he get possessed before or after he dissolves?

Well normally possession would be the most logical outcome. But Francis’ stats were insane. He had a ten out of ten in the Resist (Mental) skill. But what about the damage? Surely nobody would be surprised to find out liches weren’t exactly fit for human consumption. (Even if they were very good at the consumption of humans.)

Unfortunately for System, Francis had spent some time growing up in Texas and the rest of his time not growing up in the Marines. This was a man who had whole sections devoted to him in military medical textbooks.

Francis could tell a doctor “it burns when I pee” and the doctor would have to ask follow up questions to determine if Francis had been unlucky in love, or started drinking napalm again. He was the only grunt alive whose piss could power a lawnmower.

Nineteen years of Marine Corps chow and MREs had turned Francis’ insides into a specialized machine capable of withstanding anything he ate and somehow extracting nutrients from it. Once during a physical, they found two bolts and half a license plate in Francis’ stomach. One week later, they were gone. This was a man who swallowed his dip. What chance did some poor lich’s soul have?

But there needed to be consequences. Francis was making a mockery of System’s perfect world. His min-maxing and grunt shenanigans had to end. System tried to find out if there was a rule regarding chugging liches. Surprisingly, there was.