Player Manager - A Sports Progression Fantasy

4.

Chesterness Series 3: The Best Player in the World

Episode One: Watch Party

EXTERIOR: THE DIGS

On-screen text: Thursday July 16, 2026

Interior: The living room. An enormous screen has been pulled down from the ceiling and an ultra short-throw projector is beaming the preamble to a football match. The sound is off. Lounging on sofas, armchairs, and beanbags are Angel, Bonnie, New Girl, Queenie, and Diane. Bringing snacks from the kitchen to the area are Charlotte and Femi. The only man present is Dylan. He looks uncomfortable. Femi flops next to New Girl and hands her a plate of tiny treats.

NEW GIRL

Thanks. So you used to live here?

FEMI

Yeah, at first. It was a good place to settle in. Right now from the women it's just Charlotte.

DIANE

Until Wonder Woman comes.

FEMI

We shouldn't put such pressure on her. She is still a child.

CHARLOTTE

Max is the one putting pressure on her. Club record signing aged 16. Five year contract. Hyping up the sponsors and putting her on billboards.

ANGEL

It was just her silhouette. Max doesn't want solo players in marketing materials.

CHARLOTTE

Yeah he says that but he does it all the time, doesn't he?

ANGEL

How old are you, New Girl?

NEW GIRL

I'm fifteen.

ANGEL

Have you done a to-camera intro?

NEW GIRL

What do you mean?

ANGEL

[To the camera operator.] Has she?

CAMERA DUDE

[Muffled, with subtitles.] Don't think so.

[Angel hops off the armchair and pulls New Girl up. She takes her arm and pulls her in front of the main camera.]

ANGEL

I'll show you the ropes. Here's a good distance from this kind of camera, right? There's loads of little ones in the room so don't worry about your blocking if you say something amazing. They'll get it, though Henri and Sophie will probably cut it because you've got too much screen time already or because Max is mad at you. Okay, so relax. Smile. No, that's a grimace. There we go! Tell us a little bit about yourself. No, don't look at me. There you go.

NEW GIRL

Okay, so, er, I'm Amy. Amy Shone.

ANGEL

Rhymes with bone.

AMY

They know. They can hear me.

ANGEL

Dani can't.

AMY

Oh, shit, right! Sorry!

ANGEL

Don't worry. We all forget sometimes. Okay, go again.

AMY

My name's Amy Shone, rhymes with bone. I'm fifteen. I'm dead nervous! I don't really know why I'm here.

ANGEL

Tell us how you met Max.

AMY

I didn't really meet him. My team was playing at Bumpers Bank and suddenly he came running and he looked around kinda confused like the Pulp Fiction meme. He came on the pitch and said what's your name? I said Amy. He said top name bro, have you got a team? I said yeah, this one. He said I mean like Everton or some fucks like that. I said no just this one. He said do you want to play for Chester? I said what right now and he laughed. My mates were getting annoyed that he was stopping the match so he got out this whistle and blew it loads and said he would kick us off the pitch if I didn't play centre back.

ANGEL

Oh, you're a defender? You look like a winger.

AMY

I was! I was a winger! I told it to Max and he laughed and said he'd kick us off the pitch if he saw me anywhere near the wings. Our captain said well that's fine for you to say but Amy's an important part of how we move the ball through the thirds. Max said mate why aren't you doing 4-3-3? And he reorganised us and he knew some of our names which was mental. We played like he said for a while and it was strange but yeah, it felt better. The only person who didn't like it was me; I didn't really know where to go. After five minutes, he blew his whistle again and said he was sorry about stealing our best player but the team could use the pitch for free for the rest of the season. He had already refunded the payment for that hour. I mean, I was dead flattered. It's Max Best, you know?

ANGEL

Yeah, he gets intense. Well, you must be good because he doesn't normally get excited about defenders. Are you joining the first-team squad?

AMY

I don't know.

DIANE

She must be.

ANGEL

Yeah, that's true.

AMY

How do you know?

ANGEL

Because you're here. Come on! You're one of us now.

[They go back to their spots.]

FEMI

Amy, have you been introduced to the others?

AMY

Briefly. I mean, I know you from the documentary. Does that count? Ha.

FEMI

You will have seen that Bonnie got a promotion.

ANGEL

No, Fems. Season Two isn't out until November.

FEMI

Oh my days, that's right. Bonnie works for Saltney Town. She is a big shot.

BONNIE

You've taken my spot in the squad.

AMY

Oh, no! I'm so sorry.

BONNIE

It's okay. It happens, doesn't it? What's your squad number?

AMY

Twelve.

BONNIE

That's Meghan's number.

AMY

Um, she's number four, they said. She wanted it.

[There's a moment of quiet.]

AMY

You're all freaking me out.

BONNIE

Sorry, Amy, we're just trying to read the tea leaves. Sometimes we can guess what he's thinking from clues like him interrupting a match. That's not normal so he obviously thinks you're really good. But if you got the number 4 it would have been a real statement. It wouldn't necessarily mean he thought you were better than Meghan because I could imagine him doing it to light a fire under her arse.

QUEENIE

And the Welsh girls would want a promotion to 12. Tanwen and Dafina are 20 and 23. If I was fifteen years old and I got shirt 12 I'd be buzzing.

ANGEL

I got the nine.

DIANE

Whoa! Seriously?

ANGEL

Yeah. I was surprised, too. I thought it would have gone to Kit.

AMY

Bea Pea had the nine before, right?

BONNIE

Pretty much since the team was formed. Angel's nine, Meredith Ann's ten. Kit's still 22. Not really Max's idea of a long-term star striker.

AMY

Sorry but why are we only talking about Max? Isn't Pascal Bochum the manager?

ANGEL

He is. But if he doesn't pick me, Max will bin him right off.

BONNIE

You wish.

AMY

Are you happy with Pascal in charge?

CHARLOTTE

I am.

ANGEL

Jackie Reaper was great. Max thinks great isn't good enough. Amy, I'm not sure if you're better than Meghan or Femi or Tanwen but you've done amazing to get in.

AMY

I was stoked to sign but my dad was worried. He said having a boy in charge is all well and good when you're winning but when things turn sour you need experience. He thinks the players are gonna, like, act out and push Pascal's buttons and shit like that.

ANGEL

Yeah, well, maybe, but it won't be me first.

CHARLOTTE

Nor me.

DIANE

Count me out on that.

AMY

Why?

ANGEL

Max will go nuclear on the first troublemaker. Pour encourager les autres. That means to set an example.

QUEENIE

Maybe it's Amy!

AMY

What?

QUEENIE

Maybe that's why Amy's here. He's giving her a few grand to train with us for a while and then to provoke the new boss. Max will boot her into orbit, the rest of us are on best behaviour for a few months while Pascal learns the job.

ANGEL

Queenie, don't be a dick! Look what you've done!

QUEENIE

Aww, Amy, I was only joking. Max won't boot you into space, honest.

BONNIE

Amy, you'll be fine. Dylan was on Max's team last year and if there was ever a player Max wanted to boot into space, it was him. Wasn't it?

DYLAN

Me? Yeah. Heh. He got us playing short passes so I kicked it long. I was trying to wind him up so he'd quit and leave us alone. Yeah, if he can be patient with a big donkey like me, he'll be even more patient with a good player like you. Imagine a winger playing in defence! I bet you can dribble, can you?

AMY

A bit.

DYLAN

That's what he wants. Style. You'll bring the ball out of defence and cause havoc, you'll see. And don't you worry about not knowing where to stand. That part's easy. And if anyone gets past you they'll be scoring on Queenie and that'll be her just desserts for talking out of her -

BONNIE

Out of her arse.

DYLAN

[Embarrassed.] Well.

QUEENIE

No-one's scoring on me this season. Max told Jackie who told Livia who told Jill who told Pippa that I'll be better than Scottie Love by the end of the season.

ANGEL

[Bending down.] Here, you dropped some names. Okay everyone settle down. The match is nearly starting.

AMY

Why is the sound off?

ANGEL

So we can use this footage in the documentary. We should do a session on media rights licensing. It's absolutely fascinating.

CHARLOTTE

Amy, if Angel ever gets on your nerves, tell her she smells nice.

AMY

She does smell nice.

ANGEL

You and I are going to get along very well!

DIANE

Oh my shitting God! What the actual Christ is happening?

FEMI

Language, Diane. Please.

CHARLOTTE

What is it?

DIANE

ITK transfer tweet. That means ‘in the know’, Amy. Someone with sources. Check this out. Tottenham Hotspur are desperate to land England under 19 starlet William B. Roberts and have launched an eight million pound transfer bid.

CHARLOTTE

What the fuck!

ANGEL

That's why he's on the bench!

BONNIE

He's on the bench because Niederkorn are shit and Max doesn't need all his ringers playing 90 minutes.

ANGEL

Bonnie! Use your noggin. Spurs are trying to buy Wibbers so Max has put him on the bench to make sure he doesn't get injured.

BONNIE

He's called Baggers now.

[Pause.]

ANGEL

Sorry, what?

BONNIE

He's Baggers, not Wibbers.

ANGEL

Can we focus please? What's gonna happen when Wibbers is in London? Shit! Is Sarah Greene gonna move, too?

QUEENIE

It's more air time for you if she's gone. She stole the show last season.

ANGEL

I'm fine with that.

QUEENIE

Oh, you're fine with that.

ANGEL

Yes, in fact. I want to play with good players. A rising tide lifts all boats and Sarah's, er, a flood. But in a good way. Shit. Cut that! Where is Sarah anyway?

FEMI

Manchester. The Yalleys are hosting a watch party. Kisi, Meghan, and Sarah are there, plus the Triplets, Vivek, Jay Cope, and many from the club Max owns.

DYLAN

The club Max doesn't own.

FEMI

Right.

CHARLOTTE

Sarah's replied in the group chat. She isn't moving to London, she says. It was bad enough leaving Manchester.

QUEENIE

Why are you asking about her? There's no way she would leave Chester. This is where it's at. Ask about Wibbers!

CHARLOTTE

You're in the group. You ask.

QUEENIE

She won't reply to a backup goalie. She'll reply to one of the Fumans.

CHARLOTTE

Call me that again and I'll dropkick you.

AMY

What's... one of those?

QUEENIE

Future managers. Max tricked like six of the squad into doing their coaching badges.

CHARLOTTE

He didn't trick me.

QUEENIE

He did! He said he wanted to create a captaincy group like at elite clubs. But he doesn't believe in that shit. We all heard him laughing at Bradford City when they had a captain of the defence, captain of the midfield.

CHARLOTTE

They won the league, though, didn't they? So he wants to try it.

QUEENIE

He doesn't. He thinks you'd be a good manager and he wants you to get started so he came at it from an angle you couldn't resist. Their captaincy group had all done their badges, he said, which I'm pretty sure was a blatant lie. Only three of the Bradford players can read or write.

DIANE

What are you even complaining about?

QUEENIE

I'm not! It's good and Charl will smash it. I just want her to admit she got scammed good and proper.

AMY

Is eight million a good price?

BONNIE

It's a good price for someone who scored, what, one goal in League Two last season. It's not a good price for the best English player of his age group.

CHARLOTTE

Sarah's saying Spurs have pissed Max off. Their negotiator guy is rude and dismissive and talks Chester down. Thinks he can bully Max because Wibbers will agitate for a move to such a big club. Hey, this is weird. Four-four-two, Max playing central midfield.

DYLAN

What does it mean?

CHARLOTTE

Max and his roving band of misfits are out in Gib spending loads of evenings in restaurants and bars and Max is cooking up new nicknames and doing the default formation in matches. It means he's relaxed and silly. He's toying with the analysts, right? Whoever we play next will think oh maybe it'll be four-four-two against us. If they even spend one training session planning for that, Max is laughing.

BONNIE

Oh, shit!

FEMI

That was quite a tackle.

DYLAN

Oh my God, what's happening? Why's he flying around midfield? He said he expected to lose two-nil. He said it like ten times.

BONNIE

Dylan, have you been gambling again?

DYLAN

Just twenty quid, Bonnie! He gave us the score! It's free money.

ANGEL

Sorry, Dyl, but you've got the wrong end of the stick on that one. Four-four-two means - [she switches to a Mancunian accent] - we'll win no matter what formation I do so I'll do one we won't use in the next game. Innit. Our kid. Sorted.

CHARLOTTE

Twenty quid he switches to four-two-four in the second half.

ANGEL

Dyl, don't take that bet. Look, Max is talking to the Gib players the whole time. Telling them what he wants. This half is just a glorified coaching session.

CHARLOTTE

Second half he'll unleash The Bagsman. He's probably wearing a Fuck Tottenham t-shirt under his kit that he'll show every time he scores.

DYLAN

Oh my God.

***

Red Army is a hard-hitting Wrexham AFC podcast, unique in that club's media ecosystem since criticism of Ryan Reynolds is rife. The podcast has a Discord server open to its Patreon supporters. One of the channels on the server is called Always Bet on Best.

BrokenGround

Guys! Emergency! It's not going to be two-nil!

DubaiGuy

We know, Dylan. We tried to tell you.

BrokenGround

But he said! He gave us the exact score! I put two hundred quid on. This is a disaster.

DubaiGuy

What has finally made you see sense? Because God knows it wasn't this Discord.

BrokenGround

I'm with some of the Chester ladies and they're next level at reading the runes. They're talking about a second-half goal frenzy!

DubaiGuy

Interesting. What makes them say that?

BrokenGround

Best is out in Gibraltar making everyone wear ponchos and changing nicknames, which apparently means he's not worried about the football. He's using four-four-two which he normally only does if the result's in the bag. Now they're saying he has invited Sandra Lane to come and do a week of coaching.

DubaiGuy

What about Chester's pre-season friendlies? The preparations? Those have started, have they not?

BrokenGround

Good question. Let me ask.

DubaiGuy

This has goalless at half-time written all over it. I will look at the markets for over three goals in the second half.

BrokenGround

Bonnie says Max says Peter Bauer and Colin Beckton can run training for a week and manage a friendly against Saltney Town. Says it's not that hard. Lane must agree because she's flying out tomorrow morning. Doesn't seem like a move Best would make if he thought the opposition would win, does it? If they can win two-nil, they can win four-nil. Now Charlotte is saying nobody else is sprinting because Best thinks it's too hot so they're being efficient and they will up the tempo towards the end of the ninety when it's cooler.

DubaiGuy

Pray for no first half goals, Dylan, and we may be able to claw you out of this hole.

***

EXTERIOR SHOT: FOUNTAINS ROUNDABOUT

[The official billboard of Chester FC is showing a short comic strip in the Pop art style.]

Panel 1: A woman is on an old-style telephone. She's crying out, 'He's done WHAT?!'

Panel 2: The woman has a neutral expression. 'He's gone to College?'

Panel 3: The woman is smiling. 'Education is very important.'

INTERIOR: THE DIGS

NARRATOR

At half time the party moves into the kitchen.

DIANE

Who wants a mocktail?

CHARLOTTE

Me, please.

ANGEL

They want us to talk about the billboards.

AMY

Aren't we supposed to do it naturally? Like, not actually say that out loud?

ANGEL

Henri and Sophie like to get meta. It's a fly-on-the-wall show but we're allowed to talk about the fly. It breaks down the barrier between us and the viewers because we're not trying to pretend there isn't a massive great camera right there. Dylan, did you know - Where's Dylan? Hey! We need you for this scene.

DYLAN

Coming.

ANGEL

You're worse than the tweenies with that phone. Did you know you were going to be on that billboard?

DYLAN

No. I mean, when Max saw the photo he said hey that's a good one, can I use it? I didn't think he meant to blow it up to thirty feet high and have the whole city talk about it!

AMY

I've been on summer hols and missed it. What was the photo?

DYLAN

It was taken at the end of our cup final. I'm in the army, see, and Max was our manager for the year. We lost but one of our lads, Charlie, was named Player of the Tournament. The photo is me on the left, smiling at Charlie. Charlie's in the middle holding his trophy but he's looking at Max. Max is smiling at the trophy.

ANGEL

It’s a great photo. Makes you smile to see them so happy. At the top it's got big letters. Hope Not Hate.

AMY

What? What's that got to do with the photo?

ANGEL

Over Dylan it says Corporal Dylan, FC Wrexham fan. Over Charlie it says Private Thomas, Max Best fan. Over Max it says Max Best, football fan.

BONNIE

It prompted a lot of chat in the groups and podcasts. Some fans don't want anything to do with Wrexham but there were a lot more voices saying this is how it should be. Friendly rivals. Things get too toxic too quickly.

DYLAN

Even with this message of positivity, he got a couple of sly digs in. In the top corner he had the Chester badge with the Wrexham one under it. Under it, mind. Football fans notice that sort of thing. Then he called us FC Wrexham. He knows we hate that.

AMY

What's the... What?

DYLAN

We're AFC Wrexham.

AMY

It upsets you not to hear the letter A, does it?

ANGEL

Oh, Dylan! Burned! You got roasted! Amy the Dragon Slayer!

DYLAN

[Laughing.] Max knows our buttons and he loves pressing them. But that's why the message got through. He's on the outside enough to say come on, this hatred is stupid, but he's on the inside enough to poke fun at us the right way.

FEMI

It's back on.

DYLAN

Oh, Christ.

[He races back to the sofa. The others join him in a more leisurely way.]

CHARLOTTE

Four-two-four. Wibbers is up top with Henri. Here we go.

DYLAN

Shit shit shit.

[He fumbles with his phone before giving Bonnie a guilty look.]

BONNIE

Did you see Henri's blender? He's always boasting about how powerful it is. I wonder if it could shred a phone?

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit NovelFire for the authentic version.

***

BrokenGround

Quick! Bonnie's in the bathroom. What do I do?

DubaiGuy

Follow <this link> and put forty pounds on.

BrokenGround

Done.

Thanks. What did I just bet on?

DubaiGuy

Chester to score at least three.

BrokenGround

You mean College.

DubaiGuy

Tomayto, tomahto.

***

ANGEL

What are you seeing, Charlotte?

CHARLOTTE

Same as you. They're just dominating, aren't they? How does he get that level of control? I'm trying to see what it is about the spacing and the structure and the way they're defending but it looks normal to me. I don't know that I can do this. I should be able to work it out, right? I don't see it like he does.

ANGEL

You don't need to understand it all in one go.

BONNIE

She's right, Charl. You learn the bits one by one. You do the coaching course to get the framework and when you've got questions you've got a boatload of coaches to ask. You already know way more than most players. What Max is doing on the pitch now is what you do. You boss games like this. Now imagine you want two wingers to ping balls to and you click your fingers and make it happen. Or you feel we're losing control so you pull them back. That'd be sweet, wouldn't it?

QUEENIE

Watch the back post!

[They squeal and throw crisps everywhere.]

QUEENIE

Called it!

DYLAN

I missed it. What happened?

ANGEL

Get off your phone, boomer!

FEMI

Magnus, Lee, and Wes played the ball around on the right. When the pressure came they bounced it to Glenn, who hit it first time to Max. He pinged it through the lines to Wibbers, who nudged it wide left. Pascal skinned the defender. Henri made a near post run but Pascal picked out Wibbers, who rolled it right for Wes, who made up the ground and hammered home. Every defender was more or less in the right position but they got torn apart.

AMY

[Holding her phone to her ear.] To shreds, you say? And what about the right back? To shreds, you say?

ANGEL

[Wrapping her arms around Amy.] Amy's a ledge! Meme champion! I love her! [To camera.] Max, can we keep her? Please?

[The replays show the move again. Almost every component is simple.]

CHARLOTTE

That's it. That's the special sauce. It's not just the way they move the oppo out of position and then hurt them, it's before that. It's on the training ground. All the rough edges get sanded off and players don't do things they can't do. Glenn wins headers, holds the line, and plays simple passes. Sharky keeps things simple and gets on the far post to finish moves off. He doesn't try to dribble or do cool passes. There are big egos out there but there is very little ego on the pitch.

DYLAN

That's how it was with me. Max and Pascal tried to strip me back so that I could do one thing really well.

ANGEL

But he's always trying to get me to add things to my game. Holding the ball up and things like that.

DYLAN

That's because you're good.

QUEENIE

This match is done. We should switch to Sabah FC versus Larnaca to see who they play in the next round. Azerbaijan versus Greek Cypriots. Christ, can you imagine Max and Wibbers rampaging against a team from Azerbaijan? Is that very Brexity of me?

CHARLOTTE

We're not switching.

***

NARRATOR

As the evening cools, the onslaught hots up with goals from Henri, William, Pascal, and a thumping header from Tavares.

With a nine-nil aggregate lead, Best subs himself off, followed ten minutes later by three of his special guests.

The camera lingers on an image of Max, Pascal, and Henri laughing and joking.

BONNIE

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

DIANE

What?

BONNIE

You heard the lads were walking around in ponchos, holding cigars in their mouths, all that western stuff?

DIANE

Oh, right. Who's the bad?

CHARLOTTE

Has to be Pascal. He had his bad boy phase, remember?

AMY

Who's the ugly?

ANGEL

No-one answer that or this whole scene will get cut!

DYLAN

Is no-one going to comment on the fact a team that never played in Europe before just won four-nil and five-nil? Without breaking a sweat?

ANGEL

[Sighing.] No, Dylan. We don't spoon-feed the audience. This scene's obviously supposed to draw some parallels between what Max is doing in Gibraltar and what it means for the women's team this season.

BONNIE

Did you lose your twenty pounds, mush?

DYLAN

What? Oh, yeah. It's gone. Poof. Lesson learned.

BONNIE

It's just you got a bit excited when the third goal went in.

DYLAN

Just happy to see the lads do well, yeah? It's easier to wish them well when they're in green and white, you know?

BONNIE

Hmm.

***

BrokenGround

Oh my God I broke even thank you thank you thank you I'll never go rogue again!

***

Friday, July 17

Your boy Maxy Two-UEFA-Coefficient-Points Best woke up feeling pretty great. Literally the most desirable woman in the universe was in bed next to me - whut - and my World Reputation had increased from Unknown to Very Poor. I had earned two years of access to the flat in the renovated Victoria Stadium, all of my forwards had scored, the Maxnificent Seven were spending their days together in relative harmony, and Sandra Lane was coming to give us a training boost.

"What are you smiling at?" said Ems.

"You're facing away from me and you don't have eyes in the back of your head. You have no clue what's happening on my face."

"You're smiling."

"That's creepy. IS IT POSSIBLE TO LEARN THIS POWER?"

"Yes. Hug me tighter and I'll teach you."

Not long after, she was back asleep.

I did a quick review of everything, then remembered it didn't have to be so quick. The days were long and my only action item was to continue to leave Tottenham hanging. I opened the page that showed how many experience points I had.

XP balance: 5,005

Being able to leave the pitch early in the second leg was helpful in terms of XP. The Conference League seemed to have a baseline of 5 XP per minute because as a manager I got 10 XP per minute. Being off the pitch for 20 minutes gave me more XP than the previous 160 minutes combined. I had halved my Secret Sandra investment into Baggers because my instinct was that the low quality of the facilities were turning that into a waste. The Maxnificent Seven and I had trained at least an hour a day, doing some general drills and a bit of Relationism under Pascal's beady eye.