Chapter 345
I shivered and bundled back further into the hoodie. We were about halfway up the mountain, and it’d been a heck of a trek. We were making fairly good time, though. Thankfully, there was a well lit and cleaned off path leading all the way to the peak. I totally would’ve missed it if Vulpes wasn’t with me.
It was about that time I grew bored with looking out over the landscape. “H-hey, uh, Vulpes? You’re smart, right?”
The mature fox huffed in amusement and her tails splayed out around her. The white snowfield all kinda just blended together at some point. “I certainly hope so. Something on your mind?”
“Not really.” I kicked a loose clump of snow, sending it tumbling up the mountain. “Just, uh, just something that’s come up a lot lately.”
”Can I get more detail? How can this wise old fox help if you speak around the issue?” Vulpes smacked my side with her tail in mock admonishment.
“Check, s-sorry.” I took a deep breath of the refreshing mountain air. It was so pure it made my head throb with that purifying sort of burn. “It’s a bit of a weird question.”
Vulpes paused beside me and looked up. Snowflakes lightly crusted her fur in shades of pure white. “We literally have nothing but time, Shiro. It’s a long path to the summit.”
How did I put this? I’d barely thought about it myself, so this was my first time trying to put it into words. “Um—have you ever done something so much it becomes second nature?”
“Breathe?” She cocked her head to the side. “Somehow I get the feeling that wasn’t the answer you wanted.”
It was a pretty spot on answer, though. “It’s like muscle memory. I just—I move before I can really think about it.”
“Do you even want to talk about this in the first place?” Vulpes asked me directly instead of letting me continue to beat around the bush.
I sighed and shook my head. ”Do you think I’m being dramatic?”
“I think you’re bored.” She watched me for a moment and then continued trudging along the mostly clear path.
“Probably.” I hurried after her and walked through the sludgy remains of snow. “And curious what you have to say. We got nothing but time, right?”
Her ears pulled flat to her head. ”Is it a bad habit?”
”I’m not sure…” I dropped my hands into my hoodie and stared at the ground. “Killing people… Every time in the past, it felt like a stone on my shoulder. Now it's just another face.”
“What’s your actual worry?” She shot through what I was saying straight to the heart of things. Wise fix indeed.
“I’m just… I’m worried about losing myself.” Not only in this sudden surge of bloodlust recently, but with the interface as a whole. My physical self changed so much since I got it, and I knew my mind wasn’t far behind. Growth was inevitable, but losing who I was didn’t have to be. “I’m worried that I’ll wake up one day and hate my reflection even more.”
”What’s in the past can’t be changed.” I half expected her to keep going into some wise words. Instead, her voice evened out. “I once watched a river flood a village.”
“That’s not exactly comforting.” A river flooding a village could have so many meanings. This was definitely going to be a life lesson type story, chek?
“Wasn’t meant to be.” She glanced down the slope. “The river didn’t hate people. Didn’t even notice them. It just flowed as it always did even as a storm caused it to surge its banks.”
I waited for a moment, though she didn’t immediately keep going with her story. “And?”
“Some folks tried to dam it. Some ran while they could. Others still stood there and yelled at the water.” She shrugged—or, at least, imitated the motion as best she could. “Afterward, everyone argued about what the river and people should’ve done.”
“Rivers can’t make choices.” I tried to look deeper, but it didn’t seem like a lesson was attached. There was no bow tying it all together. Arguing over the actions of something not even alive seemed incredibly stupid regardless.
“Naturally. Choice is for those with will.” Her voice seemed so much more mature than it usually did, and that was saying something considering she usually seemed like a big sister. “I will say habits, good or bad, are like rivers.”
”Like?” I thought I was the river in that whole scenario. Ugh—this was confusing me even more.
”Fear, love, loss—or nothing at all.” She paused right in front of me. “Sometimes they just stop.”
I hugged my arms closer to myself. “And if they don’t?”
”Then they don’t.”
”… that’s it?”
“What were you hoping for?” Vulpes’s eyes curled into half moons. “I’m a fox, Shiro. Why are you asking me moral questions?”
“Because I’m bored.” We already came to that conclusion. “I wasn’t really looking for advice anyway.”
”Course you weren’t.” She huffed once more. “Just seeing if the thought was stupid, chek?”
“Chek…” Had she always used that word? I shook my head and focused back on the conversation before I could drift off again. “Is it?”
“If you think it's important enough to bring up, then that’s all that matters.” She shrugged and bobbed her head up the mountain. “At the end of the day, all us sprites are still animals. I’d think nothing of chowing down on a mouse even if it were a sprite like me.”
She was right, of course. I dunno… I’d just been thinking about it a lot recently after my time in the heights. That probably meant I had way too much free time on my hands, to be fair.
Her story though… it sounded like the people afterward regretted what happened. Otherwise, why would they gather and discuss like that? Maybe she meant to live in a way I wouldn’t regret? I didn’t know. It was by far the most unclear life-story lesson I’d ever heard.
She thwacked me with a tail and nodded her head up the path. “Let’s keep going.”
”You’re the one who stopped,” I muttered under my breath.
Thankfully, our impromptu hike through the mountains ended almost right after that. With another wave of vertigo, Vulpes and I were teleported right to the grand pavilion at the center of Nine Peaks. I stumbled and nearly collapsed to my knees. The hike had helped clear me up, but the sudden teleport brought all the vertigo back in one fel swoop.
Vulpes braced me on her side and shook her head. “Careful.”
”Thanks.” I just needed to rest. All this teleporting was making me feel exceptionally sick.
”—did not banish them j-just because they surprised me. I, the graceful and honorable Fox, would never be s-so petty.” A cute voice full of dignity called out through the pavilion. Fox herself stood there in the central throne room with her head held high.
A deep, gravely voice echoed back from one of the side halls. “You’re almost as petty as Crow, little Fox. And sick to boot.”
Fox paced around the bonfire in the middle of the pavilion. She looked sicker now with glassy eyes and a voice off track from how she usually sounded. She was wrapped in blankets like a mummy, and each step looked like a struggle. “I’m perfectly fine. I just, uh, I’m j-just cosplaying.”
“Milady.” Vulpes called softly.
“Yip!” Fox jumped straight into the air and nearly tumbled into the bonfire in the middle of the pavilion. “Gah! H-how are you back s-so quick?!”
The gravely voice called out once more, ”Vulpes. Shiro. Is she coughing again?”
“I-I’m not coughing,” Fox snapped, then almost immediately broke into a coughing fit. As soon as she got herself under control, she raised her head prim and proud. “You heard nothing.”
“‘Course.” I stomped my boots to shake off the snow.
“But I did.” Vulpes grinned savagely. “And you made us walk half way up Nine Peaks. You might not be petty, but I certainly am.”
“Y-you wouldn’t.” Fox’s noble image shattered like glass hit with a nuke. “Vulpes, I’m your boss. You can’t just—“
”She’s coughing!”
”Little Fox? How many times have I taught you the importance of honesty?” The deep voice had a reproachful tone to it like a disappointed older brother.
She shot us a look of deep betrayal. “S-stop this, Bear! Y-y-you're embarrassing me!”
”Like you need any help with that.” The voice grew louder, and heavy pounding steps filled the hall. A massive shape lumbered into view lit up by the bonfire.
Bear was a colossal black bear swollen to impossible size. His shoulders were hunched up high, and his spine bowed under his own mass. His midnight-black fur, although fluffy, was slightly uneven across his body. It revealed ancient runes that looked like they were engraved directly into his flesh.
He glanced toward me. One of his eyes was a burned out bulb that looked blind. The other was overlaid in circular rune-rings that rotated slowly like an ancient mechanism. Several kegs floated around him suspended in midair. “Shiro. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.”
I nodded my head, momentarily taken aback by the colossal bear’s sheer aura. Compared to the other eidolons I spoke to in person, he seemed much more physical. Almost like he was part of the land itself, in a way.
Bear shifted his gaze to Fox and squinted at her. He then grabbed a keg from the air and ripped off the top, chugging it down all in one go. The scent of alcohol was unmistakable. “This is bad.”
”I-it’s just a cold.” Fox sniffled slightly and stood up to move toward me. “I’m fine, r-really.”
”No.” Bear pushed down on Fox to get her laying back down. “Your vibes are all off.”
Fox rolled her eyes as she was pressed into the blankets once more. “H-help.”
No way was I battling Bear. I liked Fox, but Bear seemed like he could crush me by accidentally looking in my direction. “Good luck.”
Bear ignored both of us and started fussing with a surprising amount of gentleness and precision for how much alcohol I just watched him drink. He straightened the blanket, readjusted a pillow, and moved the tissue box just a little closer. It was kinda pointless since telekinesis seemed to be a common enough skill for sprites.
He loomed over her and stared at a small cup. “Do you need water?”
“I have some.” The cup lifted up. “B-barely took a sip.”
”That’s old water. You need fresh water.” He stood up to his full height and staggered off somewhere. “I’ll be back!”
”I-I only took one sip.” Fox groaned and sunk deeper into the blankets. “I-I can’t be seen like this! I-I-I’m ruined!”
“Seen by who?” I asked and moved over to her.
”You!” Fox buried herself in her tails, completely covering up her twitching ears and mortified expression. “I-I’m supposed to be dignified and handsome—“
”What dignity?” I coughed lightly when her glare turned on me in full force. I put on an innocent expression like I hadn’t just stomped on the ashes of her ego. “It’s not serious, is it?”
“I’ll, um, I’ll be fine in a c-couple of days.” Fox shifted. “A-as soon as this idiot bear stops treating me like I’m fragile. Oh! You tell him to stop!”
Yeah, I was not stepping into that. Bear was hella intimidating. I didn’t even know much about him other than he liked to drink, and was apparently one hell of a caretaker. Stepping in could get me pulped without a second thought from the lumbering brute.
”You are fragile, little Fox.” Bear stumbled into the room with a fresh glass of water floating with his barrels. “You’re like an emo stuffed animal.”
“I hate you,” Fox muttered without any real spite. Her entire body trembled like she was being hit by a localized earthquake.
”Oh no! No, no, no! Little Fox, you’re shaking!” Bear staggered over and plopped down right next to her. He wrapped his front limbs around her in a massive hug.
”From mortification, you dolt!” Fox pounded on him with her plush paws to absolutely no effect. “J-just—Shiro! Umumum, f-forget you saw this! Chek! Your tutor is here!”
And just like that, I was hit with yet another teleportation magic and sent elsewhere.
— — —
Okay, so, I asked my Patreon awhile back about this, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask here too. I’ve read a lot of concerns the story will hard shift into a group/squad simulator where Shiro runs exclusively with the full stack. I’ve also read a bunch of comments saying they like the shift. I have my own plans, naturally, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to hear what you guys had to say about it.
Basically, because that probably wasn’t super clear, do you like lone wolf Shiro, squad lead Shiro, or a mix of both?
Also, I got a comment that I haven’t said anything about the stub and pub deal? I’m an idiot and can’t remember if I said anything here beforehand. Outrun is stubbing in four days since it’s getting published. Feb 6th. Chapter 1-66 will be taken off and turned into Outrun Book 1, Neon Divide on amazon. The book has been edited quite a bit, with a level of polish that was lacking when I first started writing.
Don’t worry, I’m still going to write Outrun. I’ve got chapter plans for well past several hundred more chapters. We’ve really only see Aythryn City so far, but I do have plans to start going out into the wider world at some point. And the Aether, Net, and DarkNet have barely been touched. Maybe even some space stuffs? We’ll see.