Chapter 51: His heart
Arlen did not know when he moved, his hand lightly cupped the back of Ravi’s head, letting him lean against his shoulder. He barely used any strength as if afraid that Ravi would break if one held him too tightly. He circled his arms around Ravi quietly as he brought him to an embrace.
He did not say anything. He just wanted to hug him when he heard those words.
Ravi’s entire body stiffened in Arlen’s hold. The body holding was just too warm, so warm that he wanted to submerge in it completely, he wanted to just let go and fall, letting this man shield him from all the storms for a while.
Even a lone ship had the moments where it needed to rest at the labor, didn’t it? But what if it that ship had been alone for a long time, what if the ship had forgotten how to dock, then what happens then?
He did not know how to lean on this person, and it was not what scared him the most, what scared him was Arlen would notice how unnatural he was being, how tense his body was and then, then he would not hug him like this again.
His head was resting on Arlen’s shoulder and he brought up his hand to look at his palm. There was nothing there but he could see it, he could see the scars and the blood. He might have a delicate face but to many people, he was a man of steel, Infallible, perfect. He had never been held like this, held so carefully, so warmly as if they felt like he could shatter, as if he was just an ordinary person who could feel pain and fear.
Ravi felt as if there was a bone stuck in his throat, very painful and sour.
When one’s mind is in a state of chaos, articulating one’s needs and thoughts becomes very difficult. Instead, various emotions, uncontrolled, would run rampant in one’s mind.
He wanted to have this person.
The moment the thought entered his mind, Ravi felt as if his heart was about to leap out of his chest. His heart pounded violently as if there were drums in the room. Thump, Thump.
All he could hear were the sounds of his own heart, it was as if his vision was slowly becoming blinded by patches of white.