Chapter 537 - 519 Regret
Xie Xun almost didn’t dare to meet Fengyu’s hopeful gaze. How he wished everything could be as Fengyu hoped—that they had simply waited too long in the tunnel and inadvertently fallen asleep. Whether it was for Fengyu or himself, what had just happened could all be dismissed as a nightmare. But he couldn’t lie to Fengyu; he understood too well the crushing despair of unfulfilled expectations.
"Ayu..."
Fengyu’s eyes were bloodshot, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. After such a long wait and years of yearning, she had never imagined this would be the outcome with her sister.
The pain, the despair, the suffocating weight of all her emotions swelled within her, overwhelming her entirely. She grabbed Xie Xun’s collar in collapse, her whole body tight and rigid, trembling under the strain of trying to suppress everything she felt.
Even her sobs were voiceless, a muted scream of agony. Xie Xun enveloped her in his arms, and Fengyu sank her teeth into his wrist with all her strength. The Jinyi Guards filled the city, searching for their traces. Fengyu didn’t dare cry out loud; this was the only way she could release her sorrow.
Even when she bit hard enough to draw blood, to Xie Xun, this pain was nothing. He gently patted her back in comfort, letting her tears and his blood mingle together on his wrist.
He had never seen Fengyu in such depths of anguish!
"Ayu, we must go!" Xie Xun took Fengyu’s hand, helping her climb onto his back. He carried her as they made their way out with Feiying and Nuanyang in front. His wrist still bore a glaring red bite mark, blood smeared and unhealed.
Fengyu lay silently against his shoulder, her faint breaths brushing his neck, her tears dampening his skin. His heart ached unbearably. The tunnel had been dug by loyal death warriors over the past three years—a narrow passage that permitted only single-file movement. It ended at the North Palace Gate, not in the same direction as the Hanguang Tower. Their plan had been set long ago: to use the tunnel to smuggle Feng Shu out. Originally, they had intended to dig all the way to the Inner Palace.
However, the foundation of the Imperial City was built extraordinarily solid. Excavating beneath the Inner Palace was almost impossible. One small error could collapse the tunnel and draw the suspicion of the Jinyi Guards. The death warriors were cautious, so the tunnel had never reached its intended destination. Now that tragedy had struck, everyone’s hearts were filled with regret.
Feng Changqing and Su Yuejiao anxiously waited in the courtyard. In the Southern City, the atmosphere was heavy with tension. Numerous military generals and officials resided in that area. The Jinyi Guards were conducting mass arrests, the cries and shouts of the captured reverberating like a continuous wail. Feng Changqing and Su Yuejiao didn’t know what was going on. The death warriors stood guard in the courtyard, forbidding any attempt to investigate the outside situation.
They all assumed that after leaving the Feng Mansion, Yuwen Jing had ordered his men to launch an extensive manhunt. But Su Yuejiao found it peculiar. Even for a search operation, why would it cause such a massive commotion?
The Jinyi Guards seemed relentless in their pursuit, but who they were targeting remained a mystery. The heart-wrenching cries outside felt like knives slicing through Su Yuejiao’s soul. Restless and uneasy, her heart pounded furiously. She couldn’t shake the feeling that some terrible calamity was imminent. Cold sweat drenched her back, and she felt a suffocating discomfort in her chest. She longed to scream, to vent her emotion, but had no idea how to do so.
This oppressive uneasiness persisted well past midnight, showing no sign of easing. Clutching her chest, Su Yuejiao doubled over in pain. Feng Changqing hurriedly supported her. "What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?"
"I don’t know... It just feels unbearable."
Where exactly it hurt, she couldn’t articulate. It was like every breath she took got stuck in her throat, unable to go up or down. Her heart felt as though it was being stabbed repeatedly. "Where are Ayu and Shu’er... Why aren’t they back yet? It’s past midnight, why haven’t they returned!"
Hearing the sound of a squad of Jinyi Guards passing by the walls outside, their scolding voices indistinct, Su Yuejiao’s tears suddenly overflowed. "I... I want to go find Shu’er and Ayu."
"The entire area is teeming with Jinyi Guards. Going out is certain death. All of our daughters’ efforts will be in vain," Feng Changqing said, his voice heavy with restraint. He, too, felt unbearable anguish but forcibly kept his emotions in check. If they lost control now, all that Ayu and Zhixu had painstakingly planned would be for nothing. They needed to stay hidden. Only then could they all survive safely; in just a few days, once they were able to leave the city, they would head to Ningzhou or West State. "Once Shu’er and Ayu return, and when this storm has passed, we’ll find Ruyi. We’ll never return here again."
"Yes... We’ll never come back again!"
Born and raised in Jiangnan, Su Yuejiao had followed Feng Changqing for many years of war. Ningzhou had become her second home. She never liked the Capital City. After marrying Feng Changqing, she suffered countless sideways glances and ridicule in the Capital because she was the daughter of a merchant, of lowly birth. Even her daughters endured disdainful scrutiny because of her background. She had thrown herself into the battlefield in Ningzhou, fighting alongside her husband as a female general. With painstaking effort, she had earned military accolades, determined to prove herself—to ensure that her daughters wouldn’t be judged for their mother’s origins.
Who would have thought it would all end like this? If only... If only Shu’er and Ayu had stayed in Ningzhou and never returned to the Capital. If only Shu’er and Xie Zhang had married in Ningzhou earlier, perhaps they would already have children by now. Their family could have settled peacefully in Ningzhou. To ensure safety after the triumph against the Beiman, Xie Zhang wouldn’t have returned to the Capital. If he hadn’t come back, he wouldn’t have died.
And Shu’er... Shu’er wouldn’t have met such a tragic fate!
The more Su Yuejiao thought, the more it tore at her. The wrong decision back then had doomed their children to a lifetime of suffering.
When Feng Changlin was promoted, Shu’er and Fengyu were both young. Su Yuejiao and Feng Changqing were engrossed in the battlefield, leaving little time to care for their daughters. They had agreed, after much discussion, to leave the girls in Feng Changlin’s household under the care of the matriarch.
Su Yuejiao’s voice trembled with regret. "I was wrong. I’ve toiled all these years, all for Shu’er and Ayu. Yet, in the end, Shu’er’s marriage was ill-fated, and Ayu grew distant from us. Our intentions were for their sake, but why did it turn out like this? I was wrong—I shouldn’t have defied societal norms just to make a point. I shouldn’t have stubbornly followed you to war. I should’ve stayed in Ningzhou to take care of Shu’er and Ayu. If I had, they wouldn’t have had to return to the Capital with the rest of the family. They would’ve grown up in Ningzhou. Shu’er could have married Xie Zhang early, as soon as she came of age. After Beiman’s surrender, if Shu’er and Xie Zhang were already married, the Marquis wouldn’t have made him return to the Capital. Xie Zhang only came back to the Capital for Shu’er... He never should’ve returned!"
For three years, this regret had weighed on Su Yuejiao’s heart, an anguish that pierced deeper each time she thought of it. They had been fools—one wrong step led to another, and now it was too late to turn back.
After Beiman’s defeat, when the army returned triumphant, Xie Jue had originally proposed that his older brother stay stationed in Ningzhou rather than return to the Capital with the main forces. The plan had been for Xie Zhang and Feng Shu to marry in Ningzhou with an imperial decree that granted him permanent stationing there.
But they wanted to give Feng Shu a grand wedding—a lavish celebration with a procession of red bridal sedans stretching for miles. The Marquis Zhenbei didn’t want his daughter to be wronged, so he dismissed Xie Jue’s advice.
At the time, they all believed that a modest wedding in Ningzhou would be too unfair to their daughter.
Now, they were consumed by regret!
The moment they allowed Feng Shu and Fengyu to leave Ningzhou, they had been wrong!
Drunk on victory, they failed to sense the lurking dangers of the Capital’s political turmoil. If Xie Zhang hadn’t returned to the Capital, none of this would’ve happened!
They had let Shu’er down!