Chapter 12 - 1.12 I Will Go
When did Ren Zexi come to love him, he wondered?
It could be when he woke up one day and found Lu Yizhou sleeping beside him with their hands tightly clasped together, warm and firm. He was as beautiful as he was cold, his dazzling exterior betrayed the chill that came from within. Ren Zexi found himself staring, wishing that he would open his eyes and when the man did, his heart started to beat faster in happiness.
It could also be the time when he was bullied in the new school he had just moved into, just because he had no father and mother he could brag to others. He returned home crying and the next day, Lu Yizhou went personally to his school. Ren Zexi had no idea what the man had done but those kids who treated him with nothing but ridicule became as meek as little lambs, scrambling to ask for his forgiveness. Even their parents came to please him, calling him their little ancestor. After that, he never saw them again.
Or maybe it was the time when it was his parents' first death anniversary. He recalled that the temperature had dropped recently and Lu Yizhou's health deteriorated — he would always feel sick when it got colder. Despite that, the man still held his hand and brought him to the cemetery, telling him to pay his respect. Ren Zexi stared at his mother and father's wide smile in the photographs. The sadness was still there, but it had already been dulled by Lu Yizhou's constant accompaniment. With that man here, Ren Zexi never felt lonely.
He didn't know what to say so he just blabbered about the things he did recently and how good Lu Yizhou was to him. He told them not to worry about him because he had Uncle Lu with him from now on. Turning around, he found Lu Yizhou staring at him with a thin smile. Ren Zexi flushed red and hastily went to hold his hand. He didn't know why but somehow, he got the feeling that Lu Yizhou looked especially lonely and desolate at that moment.
He told himself, I really want to accompany this man for as long as I can.
It wasn't just one day he woke up to find that he was in love. That feeling had always been there, slowly accumulating with time. It was only when he matured did he realize how deep his feelings had grown to the point where he couldn't wake himself up from it anymore.
Unbeknownst to him, the very existence of Lu Yizhou had become his world; the axis of his entire world.
Ren Zexi woke up to another bright morning. The rain had stopped, leaving only a trace of chill in the air. Dew lingered on the leaves and birds chirped happily outside the window.
It had been so long since he dreamt of the past. Sighing, he went to the bathroom to refresh himself. It might have something to do with the fact that he drank alcohol last night for the first time, causing his self control to waver in the face of the man he had always loved for his whole life.
"Good morning, Uncle Lu." He stepped into the dining hall to find Lu Yizhou sitting in his usual seat with a tablet in his hands, reading news as always.