Chapter 29
[Oh my God! I don't know what to do. Jack was in a car accident... because of me! What do I do? The doctor said it's serious, maybe life-threatening. They won't let me see him. I'm so scared.]
[Jack is finally about to be discharged. He's okay, but he shattered his left leg. No more strenuous activity. His basketball career is over. I feel so guilty.] This part confused me. I understood Lily's guilt and how Jack's sacrifice might explain her lingering feelings for him. But how did he risk his life for her? Was it planned, or a genuine accident? Even if Jack had been plotting to win Lily over from before she arrived in the States, this seemed extreme. I was baffled.
[Jack was discharged yesterday, and I finally got a call from my parents. They said they had made a mistake and offended someone powerful, but it should be resolved soon. Both of my biggest worries are easing up. Last night was...special. We had a few drinks to celebrate Jack's recovery, and one thing led to another...we kissed. Should I consider him my boyfriend? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.] It was Lily's third month in the U.S., and Jack finally made his move. It was really frustrating. Reading Lily's innocent words in her diary, my heart ached. Such an amazing and lovely girl, why did she have to face so many setbacks?
[The first time I saw a man's penis! It was so long and dark, and warm. I didn't...like it, but Jack asked me to...use my mouth. It wasn't uncomfortable, but I felt so embarrassed. The salty white stuff that came out was...weird.] I looked at the date, and it had only been a week! This was too fast. Lily gave Jack a blowjob so quickly. Even though I knew this would happen sooner or later, seeing Lily's words made me feel jealous. The later parts of the diary were even more explicit.
[Jack's penis was inside me. My first time. I'm only twenty; is this too soon? He's so big, it hurt a little. Jack is so passionate, almost wild, in bed. Like a different person. He often keeps me up all night, which is kind of exhausting. And he...finishes inside me. Will I get pregnant? I'm a little worried.] Damn it! Just two weeks later, Lily had already been physically taken by Jack, even being played with all night! How could Lily have been so casual? Thinking about this made me feel blocked, but somehow my cock got hard.
The next four months were blank. Apparently, Lily and Jack were too busy having sex.
[Christmas is coming, but things have been pretty rough lately. Jack hasn't had any luck finding a job, so he's been in a bad mood. I got another call from my parents; their situation seems serious. I've cried a few times, but I have to be strong for them. Lately, Jack has been acting strangely, accusing me of being unfaithful, and not being...pure. Did he hear something? Last night he was so rough, he even made me bleed. Then he brought up his suspicions again, and we had a huge fight. I hit him, and he broke things. This was our first fight. I don't know what to do.] This seemed to be a turning point in Lily and Jack's relationship. Hardship, sure, but why was Jack suspicious? What was Lily afraid he'd heard? These weren't clear. Seeing that Lily was hurt by that jerk made me feel sorry for her. If Jack really loved Lily, why would he do this?
[Jack found out about that thing. He helped me, and I don't know how to repay him, but he used such harsh words to scold me and even hit me. I don't know whether I should hate him.] About two months later, there was another short and vague diary entry. What exactly happened? If it was something terrible, why hadn't anyone else heard about it?