Chapter 46: Feeling Rejected
My eyes remained glued on the bed frame ceiling, thoughts and images overriding my mind, so clangorous and sleep was so far from my eyes, they were as wide as daylight, maybe from surprise... or pure disappointment.
’I cannot give you a kiss on the lips just yet... For when I taste those lips it will be my undoing’
His words kept playing in my head like a melody. What exactly does he mean by that? One minute he was willing to show me what a kiss is but he denied. Doesn’t he want to kiss me? Is that it? In all my life I never thought I would feel utter disappointment until now... because of a kiss.
I sighed heavily turning to my side, I don’t think I will have a shut-eye, my mind kept exploring different reasons why he didn’t kiss me. My features turned sad... maybe he doesn’t want to and just said those words to avoid it, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to kiss me. That thought alone was enough to bring a spear to my heart. I mentally scolded myself for making my body feel worse than I have ever had. But what else could I think?
I buried my face in my pillow, the worst feeling I cannot fathom engulfing me, it was pure sadness and I have no idea how to overcome it. It was torture on a different scale, maybe way worse.
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I went on my tip toe placing a book I have just finished reading back to the exact spot I took it from, my finger searching for the next one that was when I heard a footstep, just when I grabbed a book I turned to the sound and my time paused when I set my eyes on green ones.
William, standing as majestic and sinfully beautiful, appeared to be keeping books in order today, there was a height of floating books behind him and a floating scroll and quill, but the book I spotted looked quite different from the ones I always see, they were darker and had a gloomy feeling to it, it even had a strange aura too, I wonder what those books could possibly be but I was overly distracted by staring at William’s handsome feature.
It’s official... there was no way I would get used to seeing his face every day, it felt like the first time all over again. I gulped, knowing I should say something for I knew it was rude to stare long... but whenever it comes to William I cannot control it. All my life back at the orphanage I have always been taught to cast my eyes down for they hated it when I looked at them and feared I would curse them when I made eye contact.