Chapter 109: Darkness
Love is like a dream, all possibilities of your deepest desires are awakened at that moment, you found light because you believe you have been in the darkness, you found hope because you believe you’re helpless, you found security because you believe you have never been safe all your life, you found joy because you believe you have been sad all your life, and more you found your soul because you felt like a part of you was missing, you felt a bit of your soul lost and then when you finally found everything, you wake up.
My eyes were stilled on the black coffin as it was being laid into the ground.
My desires, my light, my hope, my security, my joy, my soul. It was all gone before my eyes, I have nothing... I have nothing to live for anymore, all I feel is this hollow, a dark empty feeling that consumes my insides, I should have stayed in that dream and never wake up.
"Sylvia," Mother said beside me, holding my arms tightly so that I wouldn’t fall. Danette was on my other side.
The priest said some words but it was all faint to me, everyone came in the honor of his death, the ambassadors and their wives, some high officials and of course the Emperor came himself, given the chance the entire Empire would have been present but Mother wanted less the crowd, everyone present was under the pouring rain, the clamorous thunder striking.
"Today we shall put to rest a great warrior, a powerful warlock and the hero of our Empire, may his soul rest in peace, for with him we are finally free from the North," the priest said.
I just watched as his coffin was laid to the ground deeper and deeper, my vision was foggy, the tears out of control fell like endless water. The priest continued his words, seeing all this the coffin that held my beloved name was too much, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, unable to contain the feeling I leisurely turned walking away.
I walked like I was lost in time, the umbrella no longer shielded me as the rain drenched me, but I didn’t care, I just walked like a zombie, my fist clenching my gown in a firm hold. The cemetery belonged to the Hartford house, the Castle was just around the corner.
My breath became unstable as well as my heart, I broke into another set of tears squatting as I clenched my chest tightly and wailed in both pain and tears, I screamed from the pain, the thunder striking swallowed it all like it was consuming my voice itself, I cried loudly, I felt broken I felt lost and I felt dead, all those feeling all at once was too much to handle and it was too much to contain.