Chapter 479: Phone
It’s not real, it was just a depiction of a very traumatizing experience and yet it haunts me till this day, as fresh as the day it happened, to be teleported to that exact anguish and pain, completely paralyzed by the dangers in your head is a terrifying feeling, to be a prisoner of the nightmares conjure in your head felt like a cage, confined in a box with no windows. It had been like that for five years... I remained imprisoned in my head while still trying to hold onto reality.
Time moved on but I didn’t. I was stuck in a past that had forgotten about me, I still crave what it offered, what I lost, and what I ruined with my very hands, constantly tormenting myself. I was alive on the surface but I was dead within. Not until I found my anchor back again.
Dipping in the lake was the scariest because it reminded me of the dark ocean, but Dace helped me through it, showing me what was real instead, his touch, his voice, and the sound of his heartbeat, it went on for hours as he imprinted what was before me, not just him but the world around me, the skies, the sunlight against my face, he told me to feel the warmth against my skin instead of just ignoring it, the soft wind against my skin, the sounds of wildlife and what nature held to its truest.
Even the cold... he told me not to be afraid of it but to embrace it as a part of nature. There is coldness, hotness and then there’s just in between, these are the things that remind you that you’re still alive, that things aren’t lost to you and you’re just experiencing it in a whole different way, in all these they remain the same and they become what tethered you to this world.
He taught me things as he did with his Pride. He taught me how to embrace reality, how to feel it, and how to hold onto it, to separate dreams from reality. All these pulled me from the dark hole, I’m not completely out of it yet but I feel myself coming out of it bit by bit, with his hand holding onto my own and slowly navigating me towards the light.
I stood before the mirror, green eyes staring back at me, I hated what I saw before and then embraced all the imperfect sides, I was nothing but a living shell, always cold and lost but now I felt extraordinary warmth flooding into me.
I slowly raised my shirt and steeled myself to look at my scar, it was always a gruesome trigger for me, feeling his sabertooth as they pierced me open but now I can’t help but giggle at the amount of hickeys he left there. Each time when he worshiped my body he would always go there, I would attempt to shy away but he held me down and treated that part with love, maybe it was his way of apologizing, leaving a dozen kisses and bites. For some reason it made it easier to look at the scar, now all I see are fresh bites.
Giggling to myself once again, I reach for the drawer to search for the phone Singe gave me. I need to make a call and tell them about our extended vacation and also to check if Hayden’s okay. I had a feeling she was still unconscious, I just needed to know if her health was being monitored, I’m worried about her.
"Where is it?" I murmured, I was sure I dropped it here, or was it on the nightstand? But it wasn’t there either. Fuck! I’m clumsy! Where did I keep the damn thing?