Chapter 367: Memories
EMMA
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Memories came to me and it was peaceful... It is said that in the last moments of life your mind replays everything you have lived through.
I grew up an only child, little and feeble. I stammered so badly that I could barely get my words right, I couldn’t even associate with people properly, I was like an imperceptible ghost my entire life and the only person who saw me was my mom.
It was me and her against the world, she was everything to me and she always told me that one day I will grow out of my shell but I never believed because I wanted to be in that shell forever, there was no point in waking up from a dream. I had her so I had everything...
Not until I had to leave, her job became very demanding and she moved around a lot and never settled in one place. She wanted to provide better for both of us and it was also her dream job, to work with someone famous and explore the world and make contracts like the businesswoman she is.
I knew no doubt she would break that dream because of me. I felt like a burden which is why when it was decided I had to move in with my aunt I didn’t complain, I couldn’t bring myself to and I hid my tears as best I could.
It was only when I pulled away from her arms and walked into the airport I let my tears fall, it felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. Even when I paused to look at her amidst the crowd I saw her in tears too, she didn’t see me but I saw her, I saw how much she cried watching me leave.
I understand one thing then... no matter how much you want to hold onto something you eventually let go because there comes a time when memories are the only thing keeping us going. My memories were always with my mom, to the earliest, when she held me in her arms for the first time and cried.
My first steps as she cheered me on, taking me to work with her every time as I grew up, she was my closest companion and everything about her was me and vice versa.
Juneau changed that notion for me, I guess I finally did step out of my shell the moment I set foot on Juneau soil. I tried my best to live the right way, and although I had many challenges, I just wanted to be a normal teenager. But instead, the opposite of my life happened... I made friends. I had an aunt who loves me just as my mom does.