Chapter 102: Broken Parts
"Dahlia, Dahlia, can you hear me?"
Reagan’s voice cut through the noise that I was busy hearing in my head. I blinked a little and Reagan’s face came into focus. Clear as daylight which meant everything he had just said was true.
My body drew in rapid breath but the sound broke through my chest. The painful rhythm of my heart flattened my ribs as the repeated beats knocked loudly within my ears.
He was serious.
He was really letting me go.
I let out a feeble chuckle which sounded both strands of hatred and utter sadness.
"Oh gods above, you really are serious." I said looking at him but he just stood there!
Something like regret flashed in his eyes but Reagan being good at not revealing his emotions quickly masked it. He just continued to stand there looking at me as if he didn’t just rip my heart clean out of my chest.
I held my fists tightly at my sides while my nails pierced into the skin of my palms. Good. I tried to create enough pain in myself to numb the worsening agony I experienced.
"You know what’s funny?" I asked as I continued to stare at him, "The fact that I keep thinking that I have a choice in anything but I don’t. I didn’t have a choice when I was born, not in choosing my parents or in getting married but I thought I could actually have one, or at least that I will in getting to choose the kind of man I can make you be. I thought I could make you love me, but it seems I was delusional!"
As I spoke, tears rolled down my eyes and I hated it. I hated the way he was able to make look vulnerable every time we talk, hated that even now, I still ached to reach out, to pull me into his arms and choose me, choose us!