Chapter 4: New Confidence Discovered
I was up before the first rays of dawn. Sleep had evaded me entirely, I just had a lot on my mind after last night's confrontation with my father and my husband Reagan. There was nothing new about what my father said to me, it's what I've been hearing ever since I've been born. There was nothing good about me, I was deemed worthless in his eyes.
But the words Reagan said and his attitude towards me, it was strange and it plagued my mind throughout the entire night. Each words he said to me hurt me. It was no secret our marriage was one of convenience and it wasn't something I wanted either.
When I first heard the news that the man I was going to be marrying was Reagan Hawthorne, the finest and bravest knight in the entire kingdom. I felt pleased at that and strangely safe. I remember thinking to myself that was the only good thing my father has ever done to me in his entire life. He could have married me to an old geezer, shackled me to some wrinkled nobleman or a lecherous fool with thirst for power but instead he gave me a man whose name was spoken in awe in court, Reagan Hawthorne.
Besides, it was always every girl's dream to get married to a prince charming, except there was nothing charming about Reagan. He was mean, rude, inconsiderate, indifferent and cruel! I thought to myself feeling anger rise up within me as I thought of the way he treated me last night, I didn't deserve that. No woman deserved that level of disrespect, not someone she planned to spend the rest of her life with.
The door to my room suddenly opened, the door pulling me away from my thoughts. I didn't need to look up to know it was my handmaiden, Heather, she's come to get me dressed for today's activities.
"Good morning my lady." Heather greeted with her head bowed down low in respect even though she was older than me with some years.
"Good morning Heather." I responded, "What am I doing today?"
Heather responded almost immediately, as though she was reciting a list she already memorized by heart. "The court assembly, tea with the ladies of the court, embroidery, dress fitting_"
I tuned Heather out after that, I stopped listening. This was my life nothing new, nothing interesting. Just the same old boring routine. Polite smiles, meaningless conversations, the pressure to be the perfect noblewoman.
Releasing a groan, I collapsed backwards onto the bed. Grabbing a pillow, I pressed it firmly over my face and released a muffled scream, the sound vibrating into the fabric. It wasn't dignified but for a fleeting moment, it felt good.
"Is something the matter my lady? Did I say something that displeases you?"