Chapter 437 Nangong Yi’s True Feelings(7)_1
This deeply engraved longing made him nearly irresistible to go see her on several occasions. However, when near home, his courage faltered. At every moment before he saw her, he withheld his desire.
He could not give her what she wanted. Seeing her only led to arguments and discomfort. What was the point?
Every day, he spent mired in endless remorse and longing. His life no longer shone brightly with various colors like before. His daily joy came from listening to Zhui Feng and Zhu Yue report back about her activities: what she had done, what she had eaten, the people she had met, and how much silver she had earned. Even these trivial matters seemed so vivid and adorable to him, fascinating him immensely.
How he wished to live this mundane life with her, every day. They could eat meals together, they could chit-chat, earn money together, and retire to the same home to sleep. Such a life was so real, so beautiful!
Regretfully, his life had never been his own. From the moment he was born, he shouldered the life and death of his mother, sister, maternal grandfather and their entire family.
For these heavy responsibilities, he had no choice but to painfully give up many things, including the most precious thing - her.
However, deep in his subconscious, he never truly gave up. He resisted marriage, rejected other women, because he knew once he got married, the gap between them could truly not be bridged. So, he hesitated, tortured and suffered.
Until today, Consort Huo went to the Imperial Mother to request she designate her for Huo Yuan. Upon hearing this news, his heart hurt as if it had been slowly cut with a blunt knife, he could hardly breathe. If this became reality, it would kill him.
At this point, he realized if he hesitated any further, she would well and truly belong to someone else!
In his agony, he made a resolute decision. He wanted to live for himself once, just once. Regardless of whether his Imperial Mother agreed, he, Nangong Yi, was determined to marry Mu Caiwei, he refused to change!
Just now in the Imperial Mother’s Jade Palace, he had an intense argument with her over this matter. His Imperial Mother was so angry she fainted. This was why he was unable to appear at the Shangsi Festival Banquet on time.